Sugar

seiya234:

Dipper didn’t take his object form too often. It made him think of another floating object, and the less he thought about Bill, the better. 

That being said, it was useful at times. People saw a floating star and underestimated him, let their guards down, made it easier to wheel and deal and trick them…

Like now for instance.

“G̵̡lob̕al̀ do̡͝ḿ͡í̛n҉a̧͟t̡͜io̡͝ǹ͜ ͏̵e̢͝h͞?̧” he said, looking at the supplicant kneeling on the floor. Honestly, this was way too easy, even in this form. Dipper couldn’t wait to see the look on this dude’s face when he delivered in the form of basketballs and snow globes and-

His whole body thrummed as he felt Mabel yanking on the link between them, trying to get his attention.

“

Ho͝ld ́on̴ a s҉ećond̛; ̧I ͠ńe̢e͢d ̷to ͠p͞rep͟aŗe̛ my̕se͏lf̷ ̀for ͝a ţas͞k͞ ̧of ͘tḩi҉s͏ ͢m̀ag͜ņítu̶d̸e,” Dipper told the kneeling man on the floor, lying through his teeth.

He turned around and a little screen opened up in his middle, revealing the image of his sister. 

“Is everything okay Mabel?” Dipper asked so only they could hear. “I’m kind of in the middle of something-”

“What did you give them?”

“Excuse me?”

Mabel’s voice was low and cold. “I said, what did you give the kids?”

Dipper’s mind raced, trying to remember what had happened so far today. He had gotten the triplets out of bed, helped them shower and brush their teeth, got them into their clothes, made breakfast and because they had been so good-

“Um, I found some of your leftover Smile Dip and I let them have it because they’d been good all morning and-”

“You gave them what?”

In the background Dipper could hear crashing and screaming. 

“Is everything okay Mabes?” Dipper tentatively asked, having a feeling that his twin was about to chew his ass out. 

Her breathing was audible over their connection, even though he was currently somewhere in Florida.

“Brother,” Mabel began sweetly. He was fucked.

A voice from behind and below him asked, “Um, is now a bad time my Lord?” Dipper covered the image of his sister’s face, ignoring her indignant squeak, and turned around.

“

Pat͟i͞en͡ce.͏..u͝n̸le͜s҉s yo͟ư ̀d͠o͏n’͏t͘ ̛wàn̛t ̕t͢o rųl͡e ̨t̶he gl͝o̶be?” he replied tersely. The summoner squeaked and went back to bowing deeply. That taken care of he turned back to his call. 

“Dipper,” Mabel continued in that falsely calm voice, “there’s a reason we don’t give the three year olds much sugar. Let alone high octane sparkly pink and blue explosion sugar that’s banned in three countries.”

He winced. “Um, I can-”

“It wasn’t even lying out! I put it on the one shelf they haven’t figured out how to climb up and reach yet! What made you think it was okay to give it to the triplets?!”

“Well, they were really being well behaved-”

Mabel usually wasn’t one to lose her temper but at these words she snapped. 

“They aren’t now Mister Man! Acacia has been running around the house and climbing on everything and she’s already knocked down every chair in the house. Hank wants to beat on everything to make music and he keeps thumping on the walls and the floors and almost all the researchers in the Library have left for the day! And it’s long past time for Willow’s nap and she’s been crying because she’s tired but can’t sleep for half an hour and-”

Mabel took a deep breath.

“I know you’re the uncle and that means you do fun cool stuff with the triplets, but just, I don’t know, maybe think next time?”

“I’m….Mabel, I’m sorry. I just, they were being so sweet this morning, and I couldn’t find the grapes you have for them and..and…”

His wings drooped. 

“Hey,” Mabel went on, voice slightly softer now. “It’s okay. We all make mistakes. I’m sorry I went off on you.”

Dipper smiled (though in this form, that just meant he glowed brighter.) “Well, I did kind of deserve it. How can I make it up to you?”

“Get your butt back here as soon as possible and help me wrangle your nieces and nephew.”

“Can do,” he replied, and hung up.

Dipper turned back to his summoner, who by now was quivering not only with anticipation, but with the effort of holding one really awkward position for a long time.

“

À̤͙͚̬͇̗r͏͇e̜͓̬̪̥͔ ͉̼̱͔̩͔͡y̭̯̞̪o̺̖͝ư̗̫ ̧̳̥̠̼ṛ̮̟̞͇͉ȩàḍ̸̤̤y͓̱͟?̭̬͞ ̧̮̰̪
“ Dipper asked. Oh this was going to be excellent–

(The energy he received from the deal came in handy when he got home and spent the next seven hours chasing three over excited toddlers around the Shack. 

Dipper swore to himself never to give the kids Smile Dip again, and then broke his promise a year or two later).