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memeufacturing:

birthday
january: nut
february: dong
march: giraffe
april: gogu
may: anime
june: jokes
july: aaaaaaaaa
august: police
september: shit
october: kinkshame
november: kawaii
december: fuck

first letter of first name
a-c: smoker
d-f: fucker
g-i: succ
j-m: puncher
n-q: shamer
r-u: phobe
v: ender
wxyz: eater

day of birthday
1-10: 69
11-20: 420
21-28: 666
29-31: 184847388467374

jennyslateswife:

Overwatch is doing his event where you can buy a pink mercy skin and the proceeds go to an actually scored well breast cancer research fund, so I bought it because it’s a cute skin for a good cause and it seem to be handled well.

First match in the new skin, ally Hanzo keeps thanking me over and over and I kinda just assume he’s trying to butter me up to get me to pocket him but half way through the match, this young voice comes on over voice chat and he starts talking about how his mom has breast cancer and how nice all of the pink Mercys make him feel and how he’s going to show her later. I almost flew into the canals of Rialto because I couldn’t see through my tears 😭

spookyghostiesandthings:

derpomatic:

glumshoe:

semoka:

glumshoe:

It’d really suck if I got ice or water-themed superpowers. I’d have to wear blue and white and gray instead of the reds and oranges I prefer.

wear the reds and oranges and pull an iceland/greenland on em

“I have cornered you in this aquarium, where your fire powers are useless!”

“Fire powers? Dude, I’m an ice hero. I freeze shit and manipulate water. Also, I love aquariums. Thanks for the free entry!”

“But… you’re dressed like Guy Fieri…?”

“Yeah haha. I have an autumnal complexion.”

Also, no superhero should have a name that gives away the power set.

Misdirection – “Get him, Lasereye!”
“Haha, my mirror will deflect your, wait, why are you made of stone now?”

They call him laser eye because he once blinded himself with a laser pointer and it was the funniest shit they’d ever seen

glumshoe:

I used to feed the crows on campus every day because it was easier than making human friends (I had one already – and Robin likes crows as much as I do). Pretty soon, they figured out where I lived and would alight upon my dorm windowsill and watch me. I offered them only healthy things, like leftover fish, hard boiled eggs, nuts, suet, and dog food. They were already habituated to humans and had no fear of us, and I figured it was better to feed them real food instead of the french fries they’d get tossed.

It only got weird when people began to notice that crows would follow me to class. Two in particular would fly alongside me as I walked across campus, landing and cawing for treats and keeping pace with me. Sometimes people would try to scare them off and I’d have to explain that Heinrich and Fatima weren’t bad omens signaling my doom, just spoiled little brats.

thegarnet:

thegarnet:

remember when fyre fest happened like a year or so ago and there was this article where the attendees complained about how shitty it was but there was this one middle class dude who won a ticket through like a lottery or something and had the time of his life because rich people suffering is great. i hope y’all remember it is today’s mood

god i AM josh.