venusisfortransbians:

meathorse:

your heart is a muscle the size of a rat

SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS

shows-up-naked-covered-in-bees:

fluidityandgiggles:

quinintheclouds:

alleenickel:

blue-fluffy-dragon:

zombiebrainsoup:

nuka-rockit:

nuka-rockit:

nuka-rockit:

nuka-rockit:

the bible but its retold in memes

“if she eat the fruit, she a thot”, the Allmighty said

“all women are queensssss” the serpent hissed into Eve’s ear

HE saw that they had eaten the fruit. and so with divine fury, he cast them out of Paradise as HIS voice thundered across the planes

“This bitch sentient. YEET”

Jesus handed his disciples the cup with wine

“take a sip babes, for this is my blood”

as he cast samael the lightbringer out of heaven, the lord turned to his voice. metatron, this is so sad. play despacito

God saw how corrupt the earth had become, for all the people on earth had corrupted their ways. Then said for all, but Noah and his family, “then perish”

And on the seventh day, God said: “It is Sunday, my dudes.”

• And He told His followers about the Promised Land:

• Moses commanded the red sea in the name of God, “Move, I’m gay.”
• And the Lord spoke to his disciples, “Take, cronch. This is my body, given for you.” Then, lifting the wine, Jesus cracked open a cold one with the boys.
• The blind man was made to see by Jesus’ hand, and he looked up in awe. “I’d like to thank not only God but also Jesus.”
• The Pharaoh of Egypt would not relent, for he was the sand guardian, guardian of the sand, and the Israelites quivered before him.
• Tied up and helpless, Samson’s wig was snatched.
• On the third day, Jesus rose again. “I’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me.”
• “PSA: here are the new Commandments, thank you for coming to my TED talk.”
• “Um OP literally created the world and everything in it but go off I guess”
• Witnessing Jesus walking on water, the disciples were in awe: “Oh, my God — He on x-games mode”

• Jesus, bound to the cross, spoke thusly:

David: Bro I had a dream we fucked

Jonathan: Bro it’s just a dream

David: Gay, I wouldn’t fuck you

Jonathan: You wouldn’t?

David: I mean, unless you want to…

I’m pretty sure my soul was just damned to hell I laughed so hard at this I started crying

sirfrogsworth:

I got some cynical responses to my last post where I encouraged people to vote. 

I got meme’d and GIF’d. Probably some eye-rolling was involved.

Yes, I am an optimistic idealist. I understand that some may think voting will not do any good at this point. They think I am being unrealistic.

Though compared to more militant approaches, I think my approach is still a bit more realistic. 

The violent overthrow of the government is not happening any time soon. That’s most likely a quick death for the few willing to try. I doubt you’ll convince many people to give up everything for a hopeless fight. 

Ridding the US of capitalism overnight ain’t happening either. Your fantasies of billionaires lining up for the guillotine are probably going to stay in your head for now. 

Not to mention any drastic and immediate transition on this scale has always been accompanied by blood and misery and generations of painful recovery. 

That would literally kill me. I could not survive it. So pardon me if I want to try voting first. 

The thing is, our voter turnout has been abysmal. Too few of us have been participating. 

At the moment, they can only rig the system if the results are fairly close. I do not believe they can handle a landslide. Not yet. And we have the numbers for a landslide. 

I think Trump and his supporters have been quite the motivator. I am hopeful that enough people will choose to vote so we can move things back in a better direction. 

No, the Democrats are not perfect. But they are still the right direction. And as a new generation of politicians enter the fray, maybe they can inject more modern ideas into the system. We can slowly introduce socialist programs over time. We could start with healthcare. Maybe education. Slow and steady.

This is a game of inches. Wanting to change overnight with a bloody revolution… well… let’s just say I should be the one memeing you. I should be the one sending passive aggressive GIFs to you. My eyes are not rolling… they are spinning around in circles. 

Since your way = my death… no, I’m probably not going to be on board with that. 

I’m gonna continue to tell folks to vote. 

And I’m not going to give up hope because your edgy ass thinks everything besides “burning it all down” is pointless. 

baz-pitch-is-alive:

annoyingstripper:

thegirlwiththeloontattoo:

People say “phase” like impermanence means insignificance. Show me a permanent state of the self.

holy shit this quote changed my life about four years ago. so crazy that this just resurfaced. i’m really happy.

prismatic-bell:

fistopher:

laurdlannister-kingslayer:

kinka-juice:

house-of-crows:

questionablemotivations:

There are a lot of times I feel like just…flipping the vegan script.

It’s not ‘polyester’ it’s plastic

It’s not ‘vegan leather’ it’s plastic

Its not ‘faux fur’ it’s plastic

Plastic is a pollutant and causes far more damage to the environment both now and in the future than leather or wool.

Please stop telling me that the Plastic Lyfe is the only life, it is not. My leather shoes will last a decade where pleather is lucky to last 12 months. Leather (and wool) decompose and are renewable. Plastic is neither of those.

THANK YOUUUUUUU~

A single wash cycle of plastic-based fiber (polyester, poly fleece, faux fur) may release 700,000 pieces of microplastic into our waters. Nasty stuff.

aw dangit

Wool is the most environmentally friendly fabric despite being an animal product.

Decomposed plastic–which takes about 500 years, by the way–is believed to turn into toxic dust. As in if you breathe it, it’ll poison you.

But hey! No animals were sheared in the making of it, amirite????