fictions-stranger:

jimminovak:

lafememeistnoire:

naamahdarling:

blome3kissesbitch:

blome3kissesbitch:

squeakykins:

rabbitinheadlights:

I feel like the reason certain dog-lovers insist cats are evil is because they read their body language as if they were dogs. So here’s a very basic guide to common “mean” things cats do that actually aren’t mean at all if you know what they’re thinking.

Rolling and exposing belly- attacks you when touched
Does not mean: Give belly rubs! – haha I tricked you! 
Actually means: I’m playful! If you reach for my belly I’ll grab your arm and bite it because I think we’re playfighting! 

Lazily exposing belly – still attacks when touched
Does not mean: tricked you again!
Actually means: I’m showing you my belly because I trust you. Please don’t break that trust by invading my personal space. I might accept a belly rub if I’m not ticklish and I know you well.

Snapping at you while being pet
Does not mean: I suddenly decided I dislike you!
Actually means: You’re petting me in a way that gives me too much restless energy. Please focus on petting my head and shoulders instead of stroking the full length of my back next time.

Is in the same room but makes no attempt to interact
Does not mean:  I’m ignoring you
Actually means: We’re hanging out! I’m being respectful by giving you space while still enjoying your company.

Slapping/scratching your hand when you try to pet them
Does not mean: I hate you!
Actually means: You’ve failed to establish that we’re not playing, or the way you’re approaching me scares me. Be calmer, speak more gently, make eye-contact and blink slowly at me before you try again.

I love this post omg, thank you so much. As a lifelong cat person, dogs perplex me because they’re so completely different behaviourally.

I love dogs too but, I’ve been trying to tell people, you canNOT treat cats like you treat dogs. They arent the same animals and have very different personalities

P.s.: people often pet cats way too hard. Dogs like a firm pet or a pat on the belly, cats dont have the same bone structure and are more flexible than dogs so what you’re doing probably hurts them

Sitting and staring
Does not mean: I am challenging you/plotting your demise/just generally evil and creepy.
Actually means: I am a desert-adapted species, so my natural tears are very thick and keep my eyes moist for a nice long time. I do find people interesting and enjoy watching them.  I just don’t need to blink very often!

Staring and blinking slowly
Does not mean: I’m smug and think I am smarter than you.
Actually means: I like you! But I don’t need to get up in your face to show it.  I can just sit over here and blow kisses at you to show you I am glad you are around!

It’s very frustrating for me when people expect cats to act like dogs, or act like they’re deceitful.  They aren’t!  They just AREN’T DOGS.

Pour les chats 🐈💞

Get ready for “more reasons why I fucking love cats”

  • Yes, the legends are true. Cats headbutt you to show their trust and affection. They also do it to show “hey look I see you as family.” Lions do it with members of their pride to say the same. It’s not just because they want food.
  • Cats nibbling is indeed literally cats grooming you. It’s what mom cats do to their kittens. If a cat is gently biting and/or licking you, they’re now your mom.
  • Meowing can simply be for the mere fact they want to say hello, want to play or be pet. Again, not just for food.
  • They barely meow at other cats (except for kittens, they meow at mom cat), mostly just humans. There are exceptions but overall, meowing is almost always for us.
  • Cats squinting/slow blinking is indeed basically the equivalent of us smiling and/or kissing.
  • Cats, like humans, prefer to get things without having to work for it- which isn’t very common within other animals.
  • Cat massages or making biscuits is because they happy! Kneading is another way of saying “hey I like this moment here I enjoy you and my life.”
  • Cats recognize us by smell, sound, taste, and touch. They recognize us after years as their long term memory is extremely good. This is why abused or neglected cats are so easily scared or hard to connect with. If your scent changes over the years or just in the day, your voice will them it’s really you. Also, they will only remember you if you had impact on their life. If you just existed in the same house, they obviously won’t care.
  • And yes, they know our patterns in the day. You notice it when it’s beneficial to them (feeding time!). They will often wait for you to come home as well.
  • To remember: cats think we are interesting as hell. They watch us do everything because we’re fascinating!!!
  • They also want you to be around when eating because they feel vulnerable. They focus on eating so they hope you protect them. They do the same for you, all the time.

CATS 😍😍😍😍

oh my gosh that last thing? Athena is ALWAYS rubbing against our legs and feet and hanging around us when we eat. but she never begs and doesn’t like ANY people food (we are weak, we’ve tried seeing if she’d like teeny nibbles of just about everything. she sniff sniff sniffs and just squints at us like nah I’m good). she also doesn’t sit near her bowl at this time like she does when she wants food

she’s guarding us. oh my god. what a good baby I love her so much

deathbyninja51:

autumngracy:

40screamingfrogs:

I just watched a man release every Pokemon he caught except for a level 5 Magikarp, waste all of his money and throw away all of his items at the Pokemon center just before the elite four in Pokemon red in order to trap himself in an unwinnable game. He couldn’t beat the elite 4 with a level 5 magikarp, and it couldn’t learn the hm moves necessary to leave victory road, and Magikarp only knew splash and had absolutely no chance of beating the level 40ish Pokemon there so… This guy wanders around victory road hoping a Geodude or Graveler would use selfdestruct or explosion in the first turn of an encounter and miss his Magikarp, which is technically possible because even moves with a 100% hitrate have a 1/256 chance to still miss. It happened eventually, and he beat the elite four with a level 100 gyarados

What the actual fuck

Why would you post this without the original video OP, best part is this guy has a couple other videos like that where he “traps” himself and has to find a way out of his own trap

https://youtu.be/BKSWywJO2w8

evans-closet-kingdom:

bubonickitten:

ravsy:

mrbiggsproductions:

siderealsandman:

tomthefanboy:

tomthefanboy:

tomthefanboy:

what-if-but-bear:

asriel-dreemurr:

transcoranic:

ethantherenegade:

shorthalt:

sagasofsundry:

fayevalentin:

sagasofsundry:

thebalancearc:

d&d spells as memes. i’ll start

power word kill

heroes’ feast

Mirror image

image

dissonant whispers

counterspell

Vicious Mockery

Charm Person

magic missile

@tomthefanboy

Summon Elemental (Earth)

Delayed Blast Fireball

Polymorph Other

Psychic Scream

Astral Projection

This is my fav post.

Zone of Truth

image

Intense Perception Check

hugealienpie:

jewishtango:

jewishtango:

them: hey so what gender are you
me: oh actually i… i lost my gender in a terrible accident. its very hard for me to talk abt

them: hey so what gender are you
me: ok so you know that feeling where u arent sure whether or not you’ve left the stove on?
them: ….yeah?
me: its that

them: hey so what gender are you

me: oh yeah gender was totally faked. nasa filmed it in a tv studio back in ‘69