Fic: The Gravity Falls Community Theater Presents…

http://archiveofourown.org/works/6360787

The various clubs and organizations of Gravity Falls had all agreed to take turns putting on a play in the new Gravity Falls Community Theater. The Gravity Falls Gun Club had done “Guns of Our Forefathers,” and the local Literary Circle had done a remake of Twin Souls as a slasher film.

Then the Gravity Falls Historical Reenactment Club took the stage, Sarah coerced David into playing Alcor, a guy nicknamed “Psycho” was put in charge of the pyrotechnics, and they went through two hundred gallons of theater blood before they had even made it through the first act.

Remember the wonderful Sarah and David from these two fics? Well now there’s more from Feneris!

The Branches of the World Tree

It all started with one of David and Sarah’s cats. Skitz had been leaving dead griffins on their front porch for weeks now, and for the life of them, David and Sarah couldn’t figure out where he was getting them.

They were not prepared however, to discovered that Yggdrasil had been more aptly named than anyone had ever realized.

And

Supernatural Powers of the Common House Cat

Cats, had powers. Too be fair, nearly everything in the post-transcendence world had powers. But cats were particularly well known, as they frequently manifested the abilities of invisibility and teleportation. Despite how well known these powers were, the exact extent of them was poorly understood. Partially because powers varied between individual cats, but mostly because the cats rarely felt like cooperating with the researchers.

Enjoy!

Growing Dipnip

http://archiveofourown.org/works/6034867

When the first sprout appeared in her garden, Sarah had elected to leave it be. It hadn’t been doing any harm, and the shimmering leaves were kind of pretty. Within a week they were starting to crowd her cabbages.

Yggdrasil was an incredibly rare magical plant, whose mysterious propagation and growing needs had stymied every attempt to cultivate it. The leaves were so rare, they could sometimes sell for upwards of a hundred dollars and ounce.

David and Sarah didn’t particularly care what an ounce of the stuff sold for. They had been giving it away by the bushel. They just wanted to find a way to keep the damn plants from completely engulfing their house.

Valentines Contest Submission

Here’s my submission for the Valentines Event. Hope you enjoy.

Here’s the link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/5995954

And the summary:

Sarah Pines had made her family’s history her passion. That passion was what drove her to move to Gravity Falls, the legendary site of the Transcendence, and the birthplace of the some of the most famous of her distinguished ancestors.

For his part, her housemate David was happy enough to collect the tax benefits from their supposed common law partnership. And was usually willing to help Sarah whenever she needed an extra hand with something.

It was a perfectly functional and happy relationship for both of them. If only their family and friends would stop thinking they were sleeping together.

Wonderful! And thank you so much for the excellent submission to our TAU Valentines event!

Powerful Wards

cutiefangs:

http://archiveofourown.org/works/5844106

David’s day started out normal, many customers came in to buy some charms and ruins and some even calling in for him to ward their houses. Pretty good work day, until a man and woman came in with a briefcase. The man was very tall, intimidatingly tall, had red hair, glasses and a face full of freckles. His clothes were the kind a lumberjack would wear, except the flannel he wore wasn’t a shirt, but a sweater. The woman was of average height, had long brown hair, and an…. interesting sense of style. It looked like she was in elementary school. She had colorful and silly earrings, light up sneakers, and a bright pink sweather that had a summoning circle on it. It was a strange sight to see, but when you worked in sales you have to expect weird customers.

They walked up to the counter and smiled. David did his normal greeting. “Welcome to The Enchanter. How may I help you?” The man spoke, “um yes we have some…. items we would like you to put your best wards on.”

Usually people came in to just buy some protection necklaces or spell and maybe some government officials warding some top secret information, but never had a normal person wanted an object warded. Not that he could really call them normal, but how important were these things that they would want to put the most powerful incantations on? It was very weird. “Yes of course and what items would they be?” He had been expecting some kind of family heirloom or safe or… or.. anything, but THIS.

The couple had placed their briefcase on the front desk and poured the contents out. He couldn’t believe it, forks honest to goodness forks! What?! It was completely baffling. He examined the forks trying to see if it was made out of some precious metal or gem, anything that would make it worth protecting. The only thing he noticed was that the tips of each looked like it was gold, but looked different on each one. The tips looked as if the gold was just splattered on. Well it was definitely… interesting, but so was their sense of style. He shrugged it off.

“Alright I can ward these for you, it will cost $500 each.” The woman snorted, which made him get annoyed. What did she expect? She came to him the most knowledgeable and famous incanter in the world, of course it was pricey. Irritation pulled at his face. He was about to ask them if there was a problem when the woman blurted out a question. “Do you have the best ruins on your door?”

…..what? “Ummm weird question no I don’t.” Oooh did he say weird question out loud? She grinned widely and he got very creeped out by it. “ That’s great!” ….Maybe he shouldn’t have gotten out of bed today. “Well if everything’s fine, ill get started. They should be ready in about 2 hours.” They both nodded and walked out the door. Suddenly the room felt brighter and it was easier to breath. He sighed. This was becoming an exhausting day.

An hour into enchanting the forks and he was getting very frustrated, what the FUCK was wrong with these forks! Normally it took an hour to set the spell and he could use other hour to check it, but the damn things refused to take it! He was hardly able to finish when the couple came back in Right. On. Time. Shit! There wasn’t anymore time to check over it for mistakes, although in all his years of spellcasting he had never made any mistakes before. It would be fine.

As he walked to the front of the store, he noticed the room had darkened again. Just who were these people? Whatever, he sighed, as long as he got this done quickly.

He brought out their items and was ringing them up as fast as he could. They were about to pay ‘FINALLY’, when, “you have a guarantee about if the wards aren’t flawless, they’re free right?” GOD DAMN IT! He just wanted it to be over with and he was finding it hard to be civil to them. With a strained voice he replied “yes ma’am.”

She started cackling. ‘Jesus David, what have you gotten yourself into?’ He was quickly losing his mental state and she just pulled out a piece of paper. What was sh-OH GOD! She was taking a needle to her finger piercing it and OH, OH NO! She was bringing down on the paper, which he now recognized as a summoning circle. He was petrified, and could do absolutely nothing and he so, SO wanted to do something.

He knew enough of demon summoning to expect Latin chants, but what came wasn’t even close. “Dipdops come here.” was all she said and a man in a suit popped into existence hovering close by her. A man who looked human, except for the sharp teeth, yellow on black eyes, and wings on his lower black. Alcor, They were so dead.

In the middle of almost fainting Alcor spoke, “Mabes, for the millionth time I’m telling you, his charms won’t work.” The woman replied snarkily, “and for the millionth time I’M telling you, I don’t care! I’m tired of finding you and my forks covered in gold!” She glared heavily at the floating man, who had a look of…. guilt?

Wait! Back up! What? What?! He had the most powerful charms, there was no way they wouldn’t work, right? Sure Alcor was a powerful demon, but he couldn’t just break them. Yeah he definitely couldn’t break them, no way!

………He broke them. He just reached out and grabbed them easily, not even hesitating slightly.

“see Mabel? I told you!” That was the moment his mind broke. He lifelessly watched as the couple frowned in disappointment and Alcor smiled in victory. The demon still smiling turned slowly towards him and stated “Well like I said it didn’t work, which means it’s free.” They grabbed the forks, put them in the briefcase, and walked casually out the door.

The last thought he had as he fainted was, “It had to be because I didn’t check it.”

Soos and Melody’s Kids

Since Mods O and K and S have started to talk about them a bit, we figured they needed names! Soos and Melody have seven kids-one to love for each day of the week!

Osa Stanford Ramirez
Ford Lee Ramirez
Flora Mabel Ramirez
Symphony Maria Ramirez
David Stacey Ramirez
Vierna Matilda Ramirez
Thor John Ramirez

Thor and Vierna are the triplet’s age and are in school with them! Thor often goes by TJ, and Symphony goes by Ree (Soos snuck that one past Melody). Ford was supposed to be Stanford as well but Melody put her foot down there.