cashier: sorry sir this coupon isnt valid
me: omg… why would you…. dont listen to her coupon
coupon: ii jjsut wwaantted 2 hhelpp u geett 50% offf ffebreeze ffabrric refhreshers i,,,

prfmemes:

if two trucks were having sex

powtothenuts:

heyitspj:

I hate the word “discourse” it just sounds like Goofy saying “discuss”

this post literally ruined my life

straightfacedstrangeness:

Concept for a porno:

Woman reclining seductively on a bed. The door swings open. The Grim Reaper walks in.

Woman gives the Reaper a husky look. “So,” she drawls. “Death has finally come for me.”

“Not yet,” replies the Reaper, and strips off its robe