I just showed up to my buddy’s house for our weekly D&D Night, and he pulled out this awesome creation that he built.
After we roll for Initiative, we each put on our clothespin to remember the order of our turns. I was so immediately impressed that I asked him if I could snap a pic and share with the rest of you. He graciously agreed.
vicious mockery is my favorite spell in dungeons and dragons because like
A) it does decent damage
B) it’s a cantrip
so canonically, a talented musician can murder commonfolk by hurling a single insult at them (average damage at 17+ level is 10, max 16.). imagine a chaotic evil bard who becomes a serial killer and the local guards are afraid to pursue him because you might go up and say “you’re under arrest” but then he just retorts ‘your mom is under arrest” and you fucking die on the spot
that same musician, if he can manage to successfully insult the world’s most fearsome ancient dragon 55 times without dying first… it dies. a process which would still take only about 11 minutes (assuming the bard has a spell DC of 19, meaning the dragon would fail about 50% of the saves.)
A Bard could kill a dragon over the course of a single Roast session.
I want to see a character built entirely around this single mechanic
The librarian leans in close. “Books… unavailable to the average citizen, warlock? I believe I can help you.” She leads you through winding halls until you come to a tiny doorway. Surreptitiously, she slips a small key into the lock and motions you in. Torches flicker, and as your eyes adjust to the light, you see that the room is full floor-to-cieling with… gnome erotica.
Was this the result of a failed skill check, or a successful one?
I apologize for lashing out. One of my players threw themselves in acid after they were fully aware it was in fact acid. I did not and still do not know how to deal with that.
In the very first D&D game that I ever played, our party was standing right outside the entrance to a dungeon. Part of the area was covered in a red energy field. Inside the red energy field, all of the grass was dead, and right on the border between the area inside the energy field and outside of it, there was a collection of dead animals, insects, and other forest creatures. As we watched, a little bunny came hopping up, hopped into the red energy field, and, the moment that it entered the field, instantly dropped dead.
Guess what one of our players decided to do next. Take a wild fuckin guess.
dungeons and dragons always has great stuff. there’s a jug that you can use to create 2 gallons of mayonnaise at will, like it’s actually written in the dungeon masters guide can you believe that
things my party and i have received in the course of our campaign:
a rock of gravity detection. you hold it out and release it. if it falls, gravity is working.
a wand of magic missiles…and polymorph. i can hit anything i shoot at, but i’ll also turn into a random creature. i’ve been an alligator, an octopus, and a tiny demon so far.
a cloak of tongues. sounds like you’d learn random languages, yeah? NOPE, THINK AGAIN SUCKER. you get to taste anything for like 30 yards around. our halfling informed us we all taste gross.
2 different rings of invisibility–one makes me invisible, but only to myself. the other makes me marginally stealthier, but also makes me absolutely convinced that i’m completely invisible.
the thespian mask of duality. two personalities become mortal enemies within the wearer. the effect is permanent.
and finally, the shield of protection. when you use it in combat, it will use your body to shield itself from harm.
My Players: We must become friends with this person
Me: the blacksmith, a literal demon, takes a montrous bite from the whole pig in his hand.
My Players: we must adopt him. He is our uncle now.
Me: The hand is mummified and gross and undead, it tries to attack you because it used to belong to a murderer.
Party rogue: It’s my pet now and I will lotion it until it loves me.
Me: You are standing on a Rug of Smothering
Party Cleric: I’m gonna tear off a piece of it and keep it as a pet.
Update: They did, in fact, make friends and now half the party wants the Butcher to become a Demi-God
This is all very good and real, but I think you’re missing the most important part, which is when half of them decide on a whim to hurl Good King Lovespuppies out the nearest window
Party sees some monster: baby, baby boy
Party sees kind and benevolent npc: i dont trust like that
“I pick up the knife” is now a mini-meme among my party and obviously it just means “I did something impulsive and now it’s going to take two sessions to solve.”
“I pick up the knife” saga continues because listen we can sit around failing investigation checks all day or we could play d&d
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