Tag: hank

Fic Prompt: Character: Hank. Word: Favours

Hank opened the door.

A man in pantaloons stood in front of him.

“Um-”

“HELLO FORREST.”

“It’s Hank, Mr. President,” Hank reminded gently as he stepped aside to let Quentin in.

“NOT THE FIRST TIME IT WASN’T.”

That didn’t make sense. But Hank had known the seven and a half president all of his life, so he was used to it by now. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“CIDER PLEASE MY BOY, THE WATER HAS INVISIBLE DEMONS IN IT.”

“We treat the water to take care of the invisible demons these days,” Hank said, but went and snitched one of Toby’s hard ciders from the drink fridge. He handed it over to Quentin who promptly sat on the floor and pried the bottle cap off with his teeth. Hank levered himself gently down into his chair.

“So what brings you up to Portland?”

“I REQUIRE YOUR PRESENCE ON- A QUEST!”

Hank frowned. “A quest?”

“YES, A GALLANT AND EXCITING JOURNEY THROUGH SPACE AND TIME, DIMENSIONS THAT TASTE LIKE GRAPE, THAT HAVE BEEN BURNT TO THE GROUND. IT WILL BE A HARD TASK-”

Hank held up a hand. “Mr. President, with all due respect, I can’t just… leave any more. I have children now. I have friends who rely on me being here. And besides-” Hank gestured with his cane to the ruins of his left knee. “I don’t exactly move as fast as I used to any more.”

Quentin stared at Hank for a long pause. Then he sighed, and suddenly Hank could see the wrinkles on the man’s face, the curvature of his spine, the greys in his hair- all of his vitality and Quentinness gone in an instant.

“Please. You are needed.”

Hank closed his eyes. Sometimes he got so damn tired being needed-

-no. That wasn’t fair. He knew, deep down, that Quentin was right.

“Okay.”

Quentin sprung up in a heartbeat.

“EXCELLENT BOY! TOGETHER WE THREE SHALL VANQU-”

“Three?”

The doorbell rang, but before Hank had a chance to get up, there was the sound of a key in the lock, and then Acacia walked through the door. She was carrying Stan’s cane, had on a pair of overalls instead of her usual formal wear, and her pockets looked suspiciously heavy.

“Hey there Hank. Quentin told me y’all were gonna start some shit. Asked if I could come along.”

This was not going to end well, Hank just knew it. 

Does it ever occur to anyone that the triplets have between them all Stan’s fake ailments for real and if so how do they Stan in particular react.

It probably doesn’t hit Stan, until he sees all three of them on the couch one afternoon, watching TV with their partners and two or four wee ones at this point-

-and Willow is pregnant, and starts to wheeze, and bitches as she gets her inhaler out that now when she coughs and cant breathe, she feels like puking on top of that-

-and Acacia is kind of squinting at the TV, because her depth perception is kind of off, and she seriously needs to get a new prescription for her remaining eye but doesn’t want the optometrist to scold her for not taking care of her glass eye-

-and Hank needs to get up to get a soda, and reaches for his cane with the chunk of amber on top, before sheepishly sitting back down as Vivi scolds him because he overdid it yesterday-

and fuck.

How is Don Hank Pines and the Dinner Crew remembered by history and how are the rumors he could control Alcor recorded.

Well, they’re remembered extremely briefly, for the most part, unless you’re specializing in that area and era and subject matter. Like most people can’t say much about Al Capone aside from the fact that he was a very famous gangster, plus maybe one or two pieces of trivia, the general populace’s knowledge of Don Hank Pines in the future probably isn’t high.

Now, specialists in the realms of history that would include him specifically, that’s another story, and probably a slightly confusing one at that, all due to documentation. In general, the Dinner Crew might get mentions as a whole in newspapers and opinion columns from time to time, as well as online platforms such as social media and news websites, but imagine having to sort through all the fluff and faff to find truths about it. And on the other side of things, there’s Hank Pines, who has birth and death and marriage certificates all proper and in order, and filed his taxes every year and worked in computer programming and whose significant other taught at an elementary school in the area, and all that verified papertrail is so utterly mundane. 

As for the rumors about Alcor, it could depend on the sources of those rumors and how many mouths and minds they pass through before being written down in any format. Then it’ll probably depend on what the format is and who is doing the writing and why and whether it can at all be verified to determine whether it’s taken as a historical likelihood as opposed to a kind of runaway intimidation tactic or misunderstanding.

So in short…I’m pretty sure there’ll be plenty in all of this for future historians to argue and throw shade at each other over in series of back-and-forth academic papers.

Psychic Singularity Ch 19

phenyxsnest:

Hank had lost track of how long they had been walking and just what
direction they had been going in. The nightmares were leading the way,
while he and Gravity Falls were distracted keeping Uncle Dipper’s
Curiosity and Adventurer under control.

Despite the whining of
both aspects Hank had kept the child leashes, and they hadn’t managed to
get out of them yet. Hank wasn’t questioning how the two aspects hadn’t
managed to wiggle free yet, all things considered – well, okay, he was
questioning, just not out loud where they could hear him and get ideas.

It was a good thing that they hadn’t been attacked yet, and Hank was grateful for that, when he had a chance to think.

Still, with all the noise they were making, that was a bit of a miracle.

Gravity
Falls, for their part, was still apparently amused by Curiosity and
Adventurer’s antics, and Hank suspected it was distracting Gravity Falls
from the discomfort or downright pain that came from the circumstances
they found themselves in.

Gravity Falls seemed to be extra amused
by how often Curiosity tried to climb trees, resembling a giant cat on a
leash as he did. If it weren’t for the leashes, the two of them would
have lost the aspects long ago.

Up ahead, That of Teeth and Bessie
went still in the way only a supernatural creature could, as quiet and
frozen as a statue. At the ends of their leashes, halfway up a tree and
inspecting a bush respectively, Curiosity and Adventurer mimicked them,
all four looking in the same direction.

Sharing a glance with
Gravity Falls, Hank shifted his weight to his good leg, hefting the
staff Aunt Candy had given him that he’d been using as a walking stick,
getting it into position for an attack.

Hank didn’t allow himself to relax when two more of Uncle Dipper’s sheep shoved their way through the underbrush.

Continue on AO3 // Continue on FF.net

All of Hank’s children are short, the tallest being 5′ 4″, the shortest being a pair of bickering twins who can never agree who’s taller (and always seem to fluctuate between) 4′ 11″ and 5′. Dipper sneaks them all height changing magic when daddy-Hank isn’t looking

so on one hand Mod S thinks all of Hank’s kids have inherited those Corduroy tol genes, albeit to a lesser extent than Hank.

OTOH this is fucking hilarious and I love it so this is also canon

So one of my favourite parts of this au is hank and his mafia, but no where can I find a story of the mafia meetting uncle dipper and hanks parents for the first time, are their reactions “holy fucking shit, your related to the Woodsman, Mizar, and Alcor the bloody dreambender” or more like, “well then, that’s cool” and act like it’s no big deal, mean while his family is dieing of laughter and teasing hank about this. If there is a story about mafia meeting his family, please link it. Thanks

Mod S here!

There isn’t one- mainly because I haven’t written it yet sadsadlol.

To be honest, I don’t think either party is going to make a super big deal out of meeting the other. Rather, there will be some shock and awe when the Mafia realizes that Hank’s mom is Mizar and his actual blood uncle is Alcor. But then there will probably be a lot more “well, that explains so much.” 

(I don’t think they would have heard as much about the Woodsman. Henry is still pretty local at this point. Come back to the Woodsman after Henry dies.)

As far as Hank’s family goes… his sisters will 10000% tease him mercilessly… but at the same time, everyone, especially his parents and uncles, are genuinely concerned about him.

First, Hank ends his first big adventure with the Mafia laid up in the hospital with an irrevocably shattered kneecap. Like the kind that is going to require several months of rehab, the kind that means Hank is not going to be walking without either a cane or a slight amount of pain for the rest of his life. So Mabel and Henry, Stan and Dipper, are happy to meet Hank’s new friends. 

But between this- and also wait what does it legally mean for your son/nephew to be working outside of the law (and yes, Mabel and Dipper have been doing that forever, and Stan is Stan, but it’s one thing to do that yourself and another to have your child continue that legacy)- yeah.

There’s goofs, but there are also some serious talks to be had. 

Hank’s and Henry’s similarities, and how kindness is not weakness?

seiya234:

So I actually think Henry and Hank’s kindnesses are two very
different kindnesses.

Henry, at least until he got to kindergarten, was shown
almost no kindness at his house, wasn’t taught it. He had to learn kindness on
his own, seek out kindnesses from strangers and from school and from basically anywhere
but the one place you are supposed to be guaranteed it.

(it’s no wonder Henry loves books, becomes a librarian.
Because books contain infinite glimpses of more beautiful, gentler, kinder
worlds.)  

Henry is kind because he wants to be.

Henry is kind because he chooses to be.

Henry is kind and deep, deep underneath, fueling this
kindness yet hidden away from the light of day, is anger that goes to his blood
and bones.  

Hank’s kindness is effortless, a part of him like breathing
and the beat of his heart. Hank is kind to others because you’re supposed to treat
other people the way you want to be treated! Hank is kind because he was raised
to help others, to seek love and delight in other’s company, to do for those
who cannot.

Hank is kind, and Hank has the ability to correct unkindness
in the world.

Hank knows evil, knows a lack of empathy when he
sees it. And Hank has every right- no, the duty to fix that wrong. And Hank is
never mistaken in his instincts.

It’s only the nice thing to do.

Do Henry or the Triplets ever manage to have time travel adventures?

seiya234:

“So.”

Ugh. Acacia hated when Hank used that tone on her.

Hank pushed his glasses up on his nose. 

“You think it’s a good idea to go with this weird guy-”

“Blendin Blenjamin Blandin!”

“-the weird guy who accidentally killed Time Baby.”

“I did not kill Time Baby, Time Baby did not die and further more-”

Hank shot Blandin a look he totally stole from Dad. Acacia was surprised that it worked.

“Anyway, you think it’s a good idea to go with him to, what was it?”

“GLOBNOR!!!!!”

Mom mentioned Blandin having a mute button, why didn’t she say where it was? 

“Come on Hank!” she pleaded. “Remember all the games Mom and Uncle Dipper mentioned? The lightcycle races? The hot dog eating contests? Testing your mettle against monsters from across the galaxy? Five dimensional chess? Doesn’t that sound cool?”

“It sounds dangerous,” Willow finally chimed in, plopped in her bean bag chair and reading a magazine.

Acacia huffed. “Okay, doesn’t it sound fun?”

Hank shook his head. “For two seconds until you remember that Mom and Dad would ground us forever.” 

Willow looked up from her magazine at Acacia with a slightly vacant stare. Acacia tried not to squirm. When Willow looked at people like that…she usually was seeing things that people didn’t want her to see.

Finally, Willow looked back down and flipped a page. 

“I think your version of fun is different from ours Caci.”

Time for the big guns. “Don’t either of you want a time wish? That’s, that’s a big fucking deal right?”

Hank snorted. “Our uncle is a demon. Why do we need a time wish?” 

Not looking up from her article, Willow said, “Look, just admit you want to get into a fight, and you’ll be a lot happier.”

“I- what?” What? That was totally not the reason. Not at all! Acacia couldn’t believe that her own sister said that.

“Are any of you coming?” Blendin asked.

“Unlike these boring babies, I am!” Acacia looked at her siblings to see if her sick burn landed, and was disappointed to see neither of them were looking at her.

One last chance. “Aren’t you all worried about me going off on my own?”

Hank was fishing under his bed for something. “I’m worried about the massive grounding you’re going to get.”

Willow finished her magazine, and leaned over to get another one from the pile. “I’m worried you’re going to come back covered in other people’s blood.” 

“That is a highly specific concern!” Blendin said, completely unnecessarily. 

Acacia rolled her eyes. “Whatever, let’s just go.”

(she had never had more fun, never felt more alive. And when Uncle Dipper finally appeared to get her, she had no idea why her saying that made him turn ghost pale.

Willow was right. She did have blood all over her darnit.)