lunateluminosity submitted:

“Astrum splendidum, te invoco. Invoco tuum potentiae. Dico nomen tuum: Alcor.” A circle of about twelve small figures chanted this in succession as the statue of a well dressed demon stood in the center of a pentagram, glowing with every word. A swirling vortex opened, releasing the demon Alcor.

“So, why have you summoned me?” Alcor inquired, his voice cold and echoey. One of the cloaked people stepped forward.

“Lord Alcor, our humble leader shall explain.” They said, their voice reverent.

“Let me guess, another branch of my cult opening with a summon of me?” Alcor sighed, before muttering quietly, “Come on, that’s twelve this week. Mabel laughs every time and it’s getting a bit annoying.”

“Don’t worry, I think you’ll like this.” The leader stepped forward. Alcor froze.

“Wait a second… I know that- Cassie?” Alcor stated, dumbfounded. The leader removed her hood, revealing the teenaged girl Dipper had grown close to over the past few years.

“Yup. What do you think, Dip?” She motioned for one of the other members to turn on the lights. The sudden brightening of the room revealed a banner saying “Opening of the Alcor Society: Mizar Branch”. The room was strewn with candy and ice cream cartons, all ready to be eaten.

“What.” Dipper said, dumbfounded.

“It’s unofficially The Cult of Dippingsauce. I kinda found Mabel and called her up to ask how to do this right. Do you like it?” Cassie asked, eyes bright.

“I- Thank you. I’m honored.” Dipper said, eyes welling with the shimmery fluid that was demon tears.

“Great! Now, let’s get this party started!” Cassie removed her cloak as the other members did the same, revealing multiple teenage girls all wearing bright sweaters with celestial motifs. Cassie held out a hand.

“You in?”

“Of course.”

-6 months later-

“There’s really a whole convention for this? Wow, Dipper really is popular.” Cassie said, eyes wide. As far as the eye could see, there was Alcor related merchandise and booths. She adjusted her ‘Mizar Branch’ pin, wandering around with her group.

“Uh, Cass, why are we here? Don’t we have homework?” One of the more meek members of the Mizar Branch spoke up. She had been skeptical about summoning ‘Alcor’ at first, but warmed up to it. However, she was still a bit nervous about the whole thing.

“That is exactly the point, my dear Dara.” She turned to face the fifteen members of the Mizar Branch who showed up. “Who brought the ice cream?” Six hands raised. “Who brought the candy?” Four different hands raised. “Who brought the candles?” Five hands raised. Cassie smiled.

“Good! And I brought the math homework and markers, so we’re prepared!” A lanky twenty something whose name tag said ‘Al’ sneered at them.

“What are you doing here? If you hadn’t noticed, this is AlcorCon. Little girls don’t belong here.” Al’s voice was as greasy as his hair.

“If YOU hadn’t noticed, we’re supposed to be here. We’re the Mizar branch, and we’ve got a panel in 15 minutes.” Cassie gave a withering glare and pushed past him.
She would have marched on if she didn’t see Alcor sweaters.

“Ooh, girls, we need these! Let’s grab one for everybody, including Sasha, since she got sick.” They quickly stopped to buy the sweaters before rushing to the main amphitheater.

“Come on, girls, we’re on in ten!”

~~~~~

“Ladies and gentlemen, Alcor enthusiasts of all ages, welcome to the "Proper Alcor Summoning” panel!“ Cassie shouted out to a crowd of hundreds.

"How could you possibly know how to properly summon Alcor? You’re not even an adult yet!” A nasally voice cried from the front. Cassie followed the voice to see Al.

“Do YOU want to try? Go ahead, boy, show us how it’s done.” Al paled.

“No, I couldn’t, I-” Cassie shouted over his verbal backpedalling.

“Come on, folks, don’t you want to see the boy try to summon Alcor?” She cried to the audience. The audience shouted affirmatives in return.

“W-well, if I must.” Al said, stepping onto the stage. He grabbed the chalk, plain candles, and knife set out for the panelists and began drawing. The result was a lopsided circle with a rather wiggly star inside.

He quickly lit the candles, poured some of his own blood into the circle, and began to chant.

“Uh, stella, invocem te. Tibi dico, exsequi volo. Loquar in nomine tuo: Alcor.” Multiple audience members frowned at the garbled incantation, but startled when the vortex started to open. Al brightened, but deflated visibly when the vortex slowed and dissipated.

“What did I do wrong?” He asked himself aloud.

“Well, that’s what I’m here to tell you, Al.” Cassie said, putting a hand on his shoulder. She looked down at the failed attempt and grimaced. “That’s just sad.” She looked out towards the audience.

“Now, here’s how you properly summon Alcor. First, properly draw your pentagram. I suggest using scented markers, particularly the chocolate scented ones.” She tossed a marker to Dara, who steadily drew the pentagram. For all her nervousness, she had a steady artist’s hand.

“Next,” Cassie said when the circle was complete, “you set up your candles. I suggest pine candles, or burnt sugar.”

“Wait, don’t scented candles mess up the summon?” A voice in the back shouted.

“Please, save all questions for the end of the demonstration.” The Mizar Branch quickly set up and lit the candles, the scent of pine needles and caramelizing sugar filling the air.

“Then, you need your offering.” She looked out at the crowd. “Any suggestions?” The amphitheater was filled with a torrent of voices trying to all speak at once. Suggestions like, ‘virgin souls’, ‘a pint of blood’, and ‘a live goat’ could be heard.

“Settle down!” Cassie shouted, somehow getting the cultists to silence.

“You’re all wrong. The best offering for Alcor is toffee or caramel.” A few of the girls emptied a few small bags of toffee and caramel chews into the circle.

“Finally, the incantation.” The girls gathered around the circle and began chanting ominously.

“Qui vult a agnus, agnus, agnus, ego facere, ego facere. Ita vade ascendit et salutant tuus matrem, matrem, matrem, salve ibi, salve ibi. Ita nitique, nitique, nitique circuite primula, et nolite, nolite, nolite te obliviscatur de infantem.” The vortex opened at record speed, depositing an amused looking Alcor.

“Hi there, kids. What do you need- Oh sweet Moses is this AlcorCon” Alcor looked rather horrified. Cassie snickered at his dismay. He was wearing a glittery violet sweater that had “Aldork” emblazoned on it in white lettering.

“Yup. Don’t worry, I think I broke them. I’ve got Phish Food in exchange for help with sines and cosines.” After a little muttering, he agreed.

“You owe me extra. Like, a pint and a half. This is gonna ruin my reputation and I was at the triplets’ birthday party.” Cassie nodded, handing him the ice cream.

“Just write it down and you can be on your way.” Alcor quickly jotted it down before vanishing, ice cream in tow.

The audience kinda collectively woke up, screaming questions. Cassie looked at her watch.

“Well, look at that. Panel’s over. Bye!” The girls followed her out of the hall, and out of the building.

“When do you think they’re going to realize that the candy offering burned holes into the floor?” Dara asked.

“In about ten seconds. Let’s run.” And so they did.

(The chant the girls use is as close to the Latin version of the Lamby Lamby Dance as Google Translate could muster.)