Tag: stan

Hank nice normal looking Hank walks into a pawn shop in Portland maybe for a gift, cane or selling something. The owner plays hardball because he thinks this is easy money. Hank leaves having got a great deal because of course he does. Even funnier if someone tells the hapless owner who exactly he just spent the last fifteen minutes haggling with after Hank leaves.

welcome-tothe-mystery-shack:

transcendence-au:

Hank is good at haggling because he’s patient, and neither raises his voice nor loses his temper.

Also his uncle is a demon who taught him and his sisters the fine art of The Deal.

And what Dipper didn’t teach them, Stan did

The Mystery Shack becomes the subject of furious debate not long after it becomes a library. the library is clearly legit hundreds of researchers and professional debunkers have examined the place and everything checks out. Which makes since as Ford’s and Mable’s reputations grow. this however begs the question on The Shack was it just a tourist trap or was it all real. It’s gone now there’s only photo and anecdotal evidence left. Stan’s loves starting these debates and watching the sparks fly

excellent

TAU AU where Henry becomes a demon, either in the place of Dipper or instead of the Woodsman. Fic open season!

Consider the Transcendence in 2012

Henry would be 13 (technically a teen!) to Mabel and Dipper’s 12. How did he end up in Gravity Falls here and now? 

Perhaps a kind woman with no name gave him a ride to his uncle’s house, perhaps his uncle had custody of him, or perhaps his branch of the Corduroy clan had never left in the first place.

How did it happen, how does it end? All good questions. But perhaps a better one is to consider-

—————-

March 2026

(if the author was so inclined, this Transcendence would happen on the day of the triplet’s birth, for that extra bit of pathos. But let’s give Mabel a break; it’s hard being pregnant) 

Henry had always believed Mabel and Dipper and Stan when they told him about that first summer the twins had come to Gravity Falls. It was hard not to, between the presence of Dr. Pines (he could never bring himself to call the man Ford, like he called Stan ‘Stan’), the scars on Mabel and Dipper, and of course, all the many Other beings that called Gravity Falls home. 

He was aware of the possibility that Bill could return, that the binding of the Wheel could come undone. 

(-not that anyone ever brought the idea up in conversation; but Henry could hardly blame them-)

He just never thought it would actually happen. 

Henry managed to stagger to his feet. The shockwave from the gun that Dr. Pines had created knocked everyone down, except for Stan who had had the quick wits to engage the brakes in his wheelchair.

Bill was still there. That was… discouraging.

Slightly more encouraging was the ichor dripping from his eye, the bricks slowly crumbling and falling to the ground. Didn’t Dr. Pines say earlier that the gun could fire two or three shots?

“WELL WELL WELL. YOU CRAZY KIDS SURE DID A NUMBER ON THIS BODY.”

Next to him, Henry could see Dipper tense up, saw Mabel clutch her bat tighter in her hands. 

“SO I THINK IT’S ONLY FAIR THAT I BORROW ONE OF Y̹̝̳ O̸̺̪͉̦̝͚ͅ U̢̩̥̗̗̣ R̨̘̪͕̱ S̱͖̪.”

All of the blood drained from Dipper’s face as Bill’s hands joined together.

“EENIE-” a point at Dr. Pines

“MEENIE-” a point at Candy even as Dr. Pines scrambled to prime the gun one more time, caring no longer about subtlety. 

“MINIE-” a point at Manly Dan.

“YOU.” 

Dipper stood frozen as Bill went greyscale, his corporeal form dropping like a stone to the ground. 

Ten minutes, ten years, ten centuries afterwards, Henry could never quite say what had propelled his feet to move, moved him to throw his body in front of Dipper’s own.

All he remembered was seeing Gravity Falls burning around him one moment and then the next-

—

“THIS IS UNEXPECTED.”

Henry looked around. They were in a forest… but it wasn’t the forest that grew in and around Gravity Falls. No, here the trees were taller, broader, their canopies impossibly large and the air primeval.

“DON’T BE SO SURPRISED ANTLERS, THIS IS YOUR MINDSC-”

Bill paused, and then spewed from his eye black bile. And though Henry was divorced from his body here, he knew without knowing how that back in the real world, whoever was next to him-

(DipperGrendaFordMABEL)

-would see the veins in his arms, in his neck run that same pitch black.

Bill coughed once, and the ichor managed to stop, though even as he straightened up, a brick fell out of his middle.

“I CAN WORK WITH THIS! I’M JUST GOING TO NEED YOU TO D̯́Ị̼E͎̜̞̪͜ͅ-”

Pain flared through Henry’s being, unimaginable and all-encompassing. For a heartstopping moment, Henry was so very sure that this was it, that his body was going to be hijacked to kill the ones he loved-

Something small, quiet inside him woke up and simply said-

“No.”

—

-the next he was waking up in Mabel’s arms, his face and front wet from the snot and tears she was dripping on him.

His entire body ached… no. That wasn’t quite it. More like it felt like every nerve was on fire, like an size XL stuffed into a size XS meat suit, like-

(meat suit?)

“Don’t you ever fucking do that again!” Mabel screeched, and then pounded him in the chest with one first for good measure. “I’m the only one who gets to do dumb things in this relationship.”

Henry huffed out a small laugh. “Not for the next eight months,” he gently pointed out.

Mabel paused.

“Oh yeah. Poop.”

“Mabel. Mabel sweetie.”

They both turned towards the sound of Stan’s voice as he slowly wheeled himself over to him.

“Who are you talking to?”

Mabel laughed. “Henry!”

Stan’s face froze. It looked like he (and Ford, and Dipper) had bitten into something rotten.

“Mabel….” Stan started, and then stopped. He looked over to Dipper, who knelt down next to them, tears streaming down his face.

“Mabel; Henry isn’t there.”

In relation to the Henry’s Broom post. You have to wonder how many of the Pines family’s personal objects have become items of great power. you have the obvious stuff like Mizars bat and Don Pines cane all the way to the random stuff like the family frying pan or something.

If you ask Dipper or Ford the reason why, they’d give you a four hour answer about the intricate nature of various magical systems, the power of belief, and the driving forces of the universe.

If you were to ask Stan the reason why, he’d just laugh and say that the Pines family always had big personalities.

Transdimensional arc: Stan and Alcor make a bet that Alcor can run the shack and earn as much earnings, ala Boss Mabel plot. Turns out Alcor can managed well… too well by the fact that he uses real artifacts and monsters disguised as cheap fakes that it goes horribly right.

Alcor learned his lesson from the first time around!

(with bonus Dipper being very aggrieved because Alcor is a demon and he’s getting real attractions so why is he putting googly eyes on everything it’s so undignified)

Despite being a demon who can do what ever he darn well pleases Dipper still has no ability to grow facial hair.

He totally could if he wanted to, and he maintains this as a stance.

He tells absolutely no one of the time when he and Mable were, technically, around the age of sixteen or so and he deliberately altered his human-ish appearance to include what he thought would be a manly sort of lumberjack scruff (it was the cool thing at the time, at his age, in Gravity Falls, okay?) and it just set Mable off in shrieking laughter for half an hour over breakfast, incited an entire day of Stan commentary, and caused Ford to ask, in sincere but misplaced curiosity, if patchy facial bristles worked as a kind of intimidation tactic among demons, like the morphic mouth feelers on certain species of semi-supernatural fish.

(To those who knew or otherwise found out about this event, he maintains, rather, that it’d turned out to be way too itchy and totally not worth the trouble, and besides which the clean-shaven look tends to be considered professional and sleek in more cultures and situations than not.)