White Diamond is essentially upper middle class white woman version of The Condesce in this essay I
Someone had to.
where s the rest of the essay OP
Both Overseeing Power
Both covered in a solid color/tint, only visible facial features is their eyes and mouth
WD is v condescending, and the Condesce is well, you know.
WD treated Steven like he was merely throwing a temper tantrum as PD and basically was just letting them blow off steam, while Condy basically let Roxy escape jail and told her to ‘DWI’ when she wanted to go back. Both essentially letting their children do illegal shit and not doing anything bout it cus they wanna stay outta it.
Both are essentially moms (Batter Witch, White is self explanatory.)
Awful moms.
Both have servants that are possibly controlled by them, or at least under their control (White Pearl, The Psiionic)
Both dramatic and extra as fuck in appearance/aesthetic
That’s all off the top of my head its 2 AM feel free to add on u freaks.
Updates via some comments
Introduced via feet scene first
In charge of a vast, planet wide society in a hierarchy and with caste systems
Responsible for the mass destruction of their people (corrupted gems / killing the adult trolls)
Half of me: Blue and Yellow are going to have to confront eons worth of sins, war crimes, prejudice, the creation and enforcement of biological castes, the removal and dismantling of the very notion of consent, their part in upholding the lies that gems are solitary, unchanging, incapable of love or companionship, downplaying gems own physical abilities leading to entire swaths of gem culture untapped, and that’s not even mentioning the eugenics, use of unconventional (by gem standards) weaponry, the corruption weapon. They’re going to have to face the fact that they won’t be able to atone for all of that (especially re: Pearl) even if it turns out that the theory that White Diamond outranks all other diamonds in terms of superiority and my personal theory that Blue and Yellow are off-color diamonds like Pink was is true and that I’m actually spot on about Blue and Yellow not knowing the full extent of the corruption weapon’s effects on gems (as implied by Blue and Yellow thinking that they’d simply killed all the gems on Earth instead of corrupting them). There’s just no way they’re going to get all of the Crystal Gems to trust them just like that, at the very least not without a big rant from Pearl about how they could have just listened to Pink 5700 years ago instead of ignoring her and continuing to expand their genocidal colonialist empire.
Watching Ruby and Sapphire kiss on the lips is so satisfying, nevermind that they’re literally two lesbians proposing and getting married on children’s programing, imo that kiss would’ve made cartoon history on its own. It’s not implied, cast off far away onto the background where you have to squint to see it, or even a quick peck on the cheek, it’s right on the lips and right FRONT AND CENTER with the shot zoomed in onto their faces holding there for a moment so it’s impossible to miss and it’s just so passionate and romantic and on your face and I gotta say after a lifetime of having to settle for subtext or “I dunno they might be girlfriends…it’s up to your interpretation ;)” from cishet creators, it feels so incredibly refreshing and I really owe Rebecca Sugar and this show my entire gay life
Rebecca Sugar fought the hell back against not only the people trying to deny that Ruby and Sapphire were romantically in love, but also the countries trying to erase the lesbianism by casting a male VA for Ruby.
She had them getting married, put Ruby in a dress with flowers in her hair so it was abundantly clear she was a woman (or a cross-dresser which I’m sure these countries wouldn’t approve of either), put the wedding in the middle of a HUGELY PLOT IMPORTANT EPISODE that they can’t just refuse to air, and had Garnet spend her entire time in the episode in her tux/dress fusion and everyone else spend the episode in their fancy clothes so they couldn’t just try to cut out the wedding stuff.
Rebecca Sugar is a fucking legend whom we don’t deserve but still somehow have B”H.
In one specific country, Russia (cause of COURSE it’s Russia) they actually gave Ruby a moustache and goatee
I’m so super stoked about this I’m still having the best freak out
but I’m also worried that like, someone could bend over backwards and try to say “yeah well Ruby and Sapphire are aliens who don’t understand human customs, so they got the dress/tux mixed up. it’s supposed to be a joke”
Before Steven was born Amethyst used to say ‘fuck’ all the time & so when he was a baby Greg had to sit her down and explain that she has to stop swearing around Steven because he’s young & impressionable
So Amethyst is like “but that’s my favourite word, when will be stop being young & impressionable so I can say it again??”
And Greg is like “uhh I don’t know, 15 I guess? 15 is probably old enough”
“Got it”
flash forward to Steven’s fifteenth birthday and he is woken at dawn by Amethyst yelling “wake the FUCK up Steven it’s FUCKING TIME”
& he spends the entire day losing his mind
Steven: w-what’s happening
Garnet: *deadpan* Amethyst just got her favourite word back
Amethyst: *running around the house* FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Greg: what’s going on
Amethyst: you said once Steven was 15 I could say fuck again
Greg, who only hazily recalls the conversation in question: ……i DID?
Amethyst: *runs outside* FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK *distant sounds of spooked birds*
Pearl: Steven the *whispering* F-word is a bad word that Amethyst USED to say before-
Steven: I know what fuck means Pearl
Amethyst: *stopping dead in her tracks* WHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT??
Pearl: who taught you that word mister!!
Steven: um… Lars and Sadie… *mumbling* five years ago…
Amethyst: I’ve been denying myself my favourite word for FIVE YEARS for NOTHING??
Greg: uh even if he knows what it means it’s still not really appropriate for you t-
-No one. The whole thing was faked (JUST LIKE THE MOON LANDING) by Pink Diamond herself who was just goddamn sick and tired of dealing with Yellow and Blue’s shit for all of eternity because c’mon, look at them, you’d rather pretend to be dead too.
1/8/18 – HONESTLY THIS JOKE POST IS BECOMING A STRONG CONTENDER RIGHT NOW
backup 