What would the mafia be like if Willow and/or Acacia started it? If they had all started it together?

Acacia

So here’s the thing about Acacia
She’s not a great leader and she’s kind of selfish and lazy
all of which she will readily admit! She is basically a human cat and owns it! Bossing her siblings around is all the bossing she wants to do to be honest.
but well
she’s a pines
she doesn’t like bullies
and if something isn’t being corrected in time well
no one knows better than Acacia than how to fix it.
so think less mafia
and more the occasional posse- a mass of friends and family and random bystanders swept into the wake of Hurricane Acacia to Fight Wrong and Triumph Over Evil

Willow

if you told Willow that the ever growing and expanding network of her foster children and kids she takes in and all of their friends and Gary seemed suspiciously like what Hank has going on in Portland
she would laugh in your face
it is most certainly not like that.
willow has no grand allusions of leadership or Making a Difference in the World
willow likes kids
willow likes raising kids and helping them, but without all that pregnancy mess (once was more than enough thank you very much)
willow has the ability to not only help kids out of bad situations, but is fortunate to have the room and resources to house them and take care of them and love them and after all
those who can should do for those who cannot
this is not a mafia
absolutely not.
this is just the development over a fifty year period and a five-county area
of a whole bunch of civic minded young adults who started out as scared kids
who have a demon uncle and a lady who shoots fire they call Mom or Momma or Ma or Mommy or whatever

totally NOT a mafia, no matter how many things the kids call her in on thank you very much.

A big, happy family

Willow(to her children): If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands!

*A thunderstorm of applause raises from outside*

Willow and the Plieds look out the window to see Henry in the garden. There is a thunking noise as he slams his head against the cherry tree. There is a second round of applause.

The Magic School Shack

So lots of kids live in the Wandering Shack, and are presumably educated there too since ze’s always moving around, and so the kids can’t go to a regular school because those are stationary. Thus, I headcanon that some children brought in by the Shack might stay and teach when they grow up. And everyone knows the best part of going to school are the field trips, and the teachers and the Shack doesn’t want the kids to miss out on such a fun thing because they don’t go to “normal” school, so where might they take them?

The science teacher, a redheaded curly-haired r!Mabel, usually has the zaniest ideas. Their suggestion to visit the inside of an active volcano wasn’t even the most memorable, and it erupted glitter that day. Not even Alcor knows how they got THAT to happen, and he was THERE. The class agreed that it was all very educational, however.

twilightskylene:

More TAU-related word vomit, probably varying degrees of canon or not canon TAU thoughts. Most likely a lot of late night ideas. XD

-Depending on how Dipper holds his wings throughout the day and if Dipper is consciously paying attention to it… Does Dipper’s wingtells technically mean his hips don’t lie? Kind of?

-In one of the older fics, it’s mentioned that pre-Transcendence Dipper wrote a book about his adventures in Gravity Falls and the family published it for him. And that there’s a picture of him posing with books for the About the Author photo. If this has his birthday mentioned in it, and other important records of him are lost over time, couldn’t this be a potential source for later niblings to surprise him on his birthday, assuming he doesn’t mention it and that they read it?

-TAU came up in my dreams a couple of times and dream-me was so excited I woke up about: 1) the epiphany that I could totally get Dipper’s buttwings tattooed onto my lower back. Other people probably wouldn’t think of tau when they see bat wings but still, I could have my own buttwings. I’m not even sure I want a tattoo but dream-me was so excited. XD 2) the thought that Cani probably gets summoned to make deals with vampires to fix broken fangs. She is the tooth demon after all. 3) Lepus can leave wherever Dipper keeps him with that 1/750 chance to summon the rabbit. Imagine this happening during mating season or something, and he’s not kept away from other rabbits or something. Also imagine that over the years Lepus might have gained a way to talk and may be trying to make a rabbit army to serve the great Alcor. Cute but dangerous and all that. (Further probably not canon fun with that: Mizar finds out and teases Alcor about which animal army is next.)

-That evil!Willow dream someone had kind of makes me wonder if the Twin Souls stories ever goes the evil!Gliese route. Gliese doesn’t show up after Willow dies, right? Probably before that too because old age? Surely the Twin Souls series author(s) and fandom must feel the need to write an epic about Alcor being restored to his former glory and the unfortunate cost of Gliese’s life to do so. Fandom are driven crazy without closure on that kind of thing, you know?

-Jupiter is adorable. Is she Mabel-era? Does Mabel love the fact that Dipper is called Dadcor by her, amongst other cute names when she’s excited? Does rat niece get a cute sweater or five if she does meet Mabel?

-I HC that Anser the fox familiar goes through a variety of names over time. I love all the names everyone came up with for him and I just feel like this is what he’d do? Kind of like Dipper taking on various names in human disguise.

-Since the Pleiades are mainly support and in large number. Imagine, at one point when they are adults, there is: a hair stylist, a masseuse, a medical doctor, a chef, and a variety of other support-related jobs, depending on generation and interests. Family discounts and alternative ways to help for those who want to stay but take a different supportive path, yeah?

-“Henry, grab my hand.” “Why?” “Just do it ” (Dipper flies off over a rainbow, Henry screaming)

-(Dipper holding Mabel back from starting a physical fight) “Mabel, no, I’ll give them nightmares or something later.” “But Dipper-” (other person keeps talking smack) “Mabel, hold my hat” (his gloves are in it already, his cane has disappeared, and Henry grabs them both by the back of their shirts before they can make the situation worse) “Guys, no.”

-I had a dream where dinosaurs came back to life and those who defied them were shrunk down to just a few inches. Not being shrunk did not save you from randomly getting eaten. People were dying and losing hope. Then dream-me decided to summon Alcor, make a deal to end the dinosaur apocalypse, and the dream ended with me dying and Dipper saying “seriously ? Seriously? Dinosaurs with shrinking powers?” That’s all I remember but I agree with dream-Dipper here. Dreams are weird.

Is Willow the one that kind of is a crazy cat lady but with kids??

A. Yes

B. Mod S is now imagining willow buried in a baby pile and it is both slightly disturbing and highly adorable.

Gliese foster branch

I have this headcannon that Willow’s child collecting tendencies end up getting passed on to (some of) her children, and (some of) theirs, and so on and so on for generations until it ends up becoming an official branch of foster care, geared specifically towards orphaned (or otherwise in need of care) children due to cults and/or demons. These kids would most likely need some special therapy, may never fully recover, and it would probably be wonderful for them to live in an environment where their little quirks that are just a tad bit stranger than most aren’t looked down upon or mocked. Kids who absolutely cannot stand fire, or must avoid forks at all costs, or will have a full blown panic attack at the smell of bubblegum fit in just fine here.

What was originally one house in Gravity falls spreads to hundreds of houses all over the world. Councillors and foster parents who wish to work in the Gliese branch must undergo much more special training than normal, and be prepared to do their own research if a child comes in suffering from a demon or cult they’ve never heard of. Only the best wards are placed on these homes, and an extra security detail is always on call in case of vengeful cults or parents.

And of course, throughout the years, the “Gliese” name always stuck around for some reason, and by the time they became official the name was stuck. And if the occasional omniscient dream (dork) demon comes by to drop off a child, they’ve learned not to question it.

A Day in the Life of Willow Pines

seiya234:

Happy TAUmas to @alcorss who asked for something with Willow! I hope you enjoy!

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12:32am: Get home from an exorcism in Pine Box, California. Collapse on bed.

1:15am: Get awoken by several children climbing into bed and snuggling with you. Fall back asleep once everyone is sorted.

5:30am: Alarm goes off. Press snooze.

5:45am: Alarm goes off again. Press snooze harder.

5:50am: Alarm goes off for third time. Set alarm clock on fire. Get out of bed to put alarm clock out, with the fire extinguisher you keep for this purpose. Go to closet and get out new alarm clock from the store you have in there.

6:30am: Go downstairs to help Dad make breakfast. Get Auriga to set the table, and set Rob and Annie to waking up the others.

7:45am: At breakfast today are you, Mom, Dad, Auriga, Annie, Rob, Gertrude, Martine, Fred, Jose, Jose’s best friend Jeremy, Uncle Dipper, two or three of Tio Soos’ grandkids, some gnomes that snuck in, and Multibear. You call not it on dishes.

9:00am: Return from dropping everyone off at school. You currently drive a fifteen passenger van that your sister painted for you. She did mermaids like you asked, and made them topless, like you did not ask. You have to admit that the boobs do look nice at least, though you’ve caught Annie calling it the Titmobile behind your back.

9:01am: Okay, Titmobile is pretty funny.

9:30am to 5:30pm: Run the Library. For now it’s just you, though the kids help when they come home from school with putting books back and cleaning. Dad’s making noises about helping once he retires.

10:12am: You notice that the copy machine that Mom and Uncle Dipper always look a little funny at is sparking again; that thing is a dinosaur and you should probably throw it out but it was Grunkle Stan’s and…you can’t.

11:15am: Aunt Wendy drops by. After hugs, kisses, and gossip, she confides that she’s going off to take care of some easy peasy monster that lives in a subway. She should be back by Tuesday; could you ask your Dad if he’d make green bean casserole that night?

12:16pm: Lunch is left over spaghetti from the night before. You could tell Mom made it because there’s edible glitter in there.

1:47pm: The inevitable afternoon headache from the auras hits you. You reach into your desk drawer to grab the prescription strength Tylenol inside. You catch a glimpse of your eyes in the small mirror you keep in the drawer, eyes the same yellow as Uncle Dipper’s. Eyes that remind you that you really need to talk to him because you know for a fact that you’ve been getting more and more sensitive this past year and it’s starting to be even more of a problem than before.

2:54pm: No, you tell the caller on the other end of the line, Yggdrasil is not the same as pot. You get calls like this twice a day.

3:35pm: Get into a twenty minute meme off with Hank over text message. Snidely remind him when he gets you good and you have nothing left in your photo library that he should be working. He reminds you that you should be doing the same. You plan on lighting his hair on fire next time you see him.

4:05pm: Break up two researchers who are having a loud argument over the four different types of werewolves. Remind them that they need to keep it down in here because this is a library. Also that there are seven kinds of werewolves. Duh.

5:14pm: Seven kids of varying ages pop into existence on the front lawn; it was Dipper’s turn to pick them up from school today. Annie and Rob, as the oldest, come into the library to help her with closing duties, while Auriga and Martine shepherd the little ones inside for snack time.

6:00pm: Dad comes home a little late, but that’s because he’s bearing gifts of pizza, pizza, and more pizza. As you and Mom set the table, Uncle Dipper argues unsuccessfully for Dad to let him drizzle blood on his pizza. They compromise, and Dad pulls out a package of raw hamburger for your Uncle to put on there.

6:18pm: Uncle Dipper disappears from the table. Your stomach lurches. If he couldn’t put it off until dinner… that could mean… You haven’t had anyone join you since Fred came last year, but you run a mental check to make sure that there’s clean jammies and a free bed available just in case.

6:57pm: Uncle Dipper comes back as the kids are finishing dishes. You and Mom take one look at him, then Mom takes him by the hand and leads him into the other room, murmuring quietly.

8:45pm: You put Fred, Jose, and Gertrude to bed. As you tuck them in your heart swells with love. They’re not the children of your flesh, not the children that came into your life by your choice, but they are here all the same and you love them, love them so much it hurts.

8:46pm: Fred burps in your face on accident, and then giggles because he’s five.

9:00pm: You settle down on the couch in front of the TV. It’s a rare night in for you; no cults that need to be busted either by yourself or with Uncle Dipper, no missions of your own. You remind Auriga and Martine that they need to be bed in an hour, to which both of them roll your eyes. You point out that you weren’t that impertinent when you were their age, to which your parents and Uncle begin to laugh hysterically.

10:11pm: You need to get up and go to bed but Annie has fallen asleep on your shoulder. You remember when she looked at you with distrust in her eyes and while you wouldn’t say the literal drool on your shirt is sweet, the fact that Annie can drool on you makes you feel good.

11:21pm: Get Annie in her bed with help from Rob, and then go to your own bedroom. Collapse on the bed after another long day. Your life is chaotic, busy, hectic, tiring. Your powers are only growing stronger and you’re terrified that one day they will drive you mad, will finally leave your control. Tomorrow you may have to go into the dark to rescue someone or wreak vengeance (or both.) But it’s your life, and it’s a good one, filled with people who you love and love you. Just for that alone, you wouldn’t change a thing.

seiya234:

midnightfuckingmayor answered: Do any of Willow’s foster kids find out Grunkle Dipper is Alcor?

Actually all of them know that Dipper is Alcor!

For one, it’s kind of unavoidable, considering that Willow and by extension her small horde of children live in the Shack, and Dipper ‘lives’ in the Shack as well. The thought of not telling them never crosses Willow’s mind: they would find out eventually anyway and she grew up knowing who Dipper was and it didn’t hurt her. Besides, the kids are family, and family knows about Dipper.

As well, several of her children came to her because Dipper found and rescued them from being sacrificed or from a bad home situation, so the cat’s double out of the bag for them.

And just like her parents, Willow views Uncle Dipper as an extra helping hand in small child wrangling.

(Dipper occasionally acts disgruntled, but don’t let him fool you, he loves having five niblings hang off of him or sit on his lap or brush his hair out or any of the million things he does with them.)

HC that instead of cookies, the Star Scouts sell pies made from fruit off of the Pines Family Tree.