This is my Secret Santa present for @magiifox.tumblr.com who requested “Fics, art, wearable items (i.e. hats, jewelery), keychains/phone charms" So I wrote a story about Stanford looking for Dipper (the week after Bill attempted to take over Dipper’s body) and the unlikely friend he meets. Hope you like!
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Stanford was a very proud man. He had always known that, and he had always told himself that he had a reason to be proud of himself. He was the genius, the one who had a shot at greatness, the one who would change the world…but that same pride had made him turned his back on his brother, ruined many other relationships, got him turned into a golden back scratcher and…
…
Ford pushed the thought away but with how scrambled his mind was right now, the thought kept coming back over and over again. Bill was gone, the Weirdmageddon was over but in his dying breath Bill had… had… to Dipper…
Again he shoved the thought away, even as his eyes watered and his feet yelled at him for the constant walking. Mabel had been the last to seen Dipper before Bill had attacked and everyone in the town was searching for the twelve year old. The forest were being thoroughly searched, with Mabel, Stan, Soos and a teenager named Wendy leading the search.
Find Dipper. Find Him. He might be still alive!
Procession. Driven to Madness. You know what Bill can do!
He’s dead, he’s dead. He’s your nephew and now he’s gone!
YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT.
His mind was a broken record, the thoughts going in and out of his head. It was close to midnight, but Ford was still looking. Mabel had passed out a while ago (an hour ago or was it longer?) so Stan had taken her back to the shack. Wendy had to be dragged home by her father as she had been searching for two days straight without any food or sleep. Ford didn’t know if Soos had gone back with anyone or if he was still looking. He was nowhere near Ford so he had no clue, he was alone with his thoughts. It was something he normally enjoyed but right now, he wished for anyone to make his brain shut up.
It’s not my fault. It’s Stan’s fault, I told him not to activate the portal!
YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT.
It’s not my fault! Mabel was the one who handed the portal to Bill!
YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT.
“Dipper! Where are you?” cried a female voice suddenly sounding extremely close to where Ford was. Immediately Ford whirled toward the sound, shining his flashlight and whipping out his ray gun. However instead of some monster or creature sneaking up on him, it was a young girl, about the twin’s age with messy blonde hair and a patchwork dress that looked like she made it herself. Ford had accidentally pointed the light straight into the girl’s eyes, blinding her in the process.
“Ack! What is your problem?!” the mystery girl yelled.
“Sorry, I thought you were…well…something else” Ford lowered his light, partly feeling foolish and partly relieved to not be alone. The girl rubbed her eyes which Ford now noticed were red and puffy like she had been crying.
“No, no, sorry I should have called a warning. I just saw movement so I thought you were Dipper.” The two stared at each other, not knowing what to say. Ford had no clue who this girl was and as much as he appreciated another person right now, his brain felt too cluttered and scattered to actually talk to someone right now
Is she lost? Was she helping look for Dipper? Is she a friend?
No time to talk or babysit. Must find Dipper. Must find body.
YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT.
You’re ending up just like Rick. You are a failure.
“So…are you Ford?” the girl asked suddenly, startling Ford out of his thoughts.
“Yeah, uh, well, yeah that is me,” Ford confirmed, “how did you know who I am? Who are you?”
“Last time I spoke with Mabel, she said her Great Uncle Ford was out looking for Dipper with everyone else. You don’t look familiar so I guessed. I’m Pacifica, I’m…well I guess you can say I am a friend of Mabel’s.” explained the other gi-erm Pacifica.
YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT.
Not a Grunkle. You’re a Great Uncle now. What’s next? Just Ford?
YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT.
YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT.
“Hey, are you okay?” she asked suddenly, “You look like you haven’t slept in a week.”
“I haven’t. I’ve been searching all week. I haven’t been able to sleep since I was turned into a back scratcher.”
Ford was sure if he should be happy or worried about the lack of confusion on her face like being turned into a back scratcher wasn’t an unusual thing. But the fact that it was midnight, and this girl was out alone was not a good thing. She should be at home and in bed.
“What are you doing out so late? Why aren’t you home where it’s safer?” He asked. A deep expression of regret and sadness that should never be on a child’s face crossed Pacifica’s face. She opened her mouth and then closed it, she even tried taking a deep breath but all that left her was the air, no words were forming. It was like being teenager with Stanley again, when Dad asked about the phone call from the principle and the twins could work up the bravery to lie or to tell the truth. Ford bent down on one knee (despite it throbbing in pain) so he was on Pacifica’s level.
“I get it. Either you don’t have a home to go to or you can’t go home right now. Close enough?”
Pacifica relaxed in relief before nodding. Mentally Ford sighed, he wasn’t okay with leaving a child out here in the woods (especially this late at night) but he didn’t-couldn’t stop searching. He can’t face Mabel or Stan right now, he had to bring Dipper home.
Can’t leave her out here, she will get lost or worse out in these woods
YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT.
YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT.
YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT.
“You’re a friend of Mabel” that came out more like a question then Ford intended but he went with it “She in the house. You can stay there for a while, until everything gets settled…”
“No!” Pacifica yelped, making both of them jump. “I can’t go back yet! I’ve been helping everyone else all day and I want to help find Dipper! Please.” Something about the way she said it, made Ford believe she has never had to say the word ‘please’ before. “I can look with you if you are that worried but don’t send me back. Please, please please!”
“Okay, okay. But if you get too tired, you go to the house. I don’t want you searching alone.”
Pacifica nodded and together they kept searching. A silence grew between them but neither of the two were focused on conversation. As it got darker and darker, the silence was broken more frequently by Pacifica’s calls of Dipper’s name. The thoughts were returning as they wandered more and more with no results.
YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT.
YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT.
YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT.
YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT.
Neither had noticed the dark clouds until the sky suddenly lit up and a loud boom echoed across the trees, startling both out of their thoughts and making both panic.
“That sounded way too close!”
“It’s not raining yet, we can search a little while longer!”
“We can’t stay out during a thunderstorm!”
“Trust me, Pacifica, we can do this a little longer!”
That’s when the sky opened up and dumped water on both of their heads. Pacifica shrieked and Ford snapped “Hot Belgium Waffles! Pacifica, you head back to the house!”
Pacifica nodded and started to head back but when she noticed Ford wasn’t coming with her, she stopped and looked at him.
“Ford? Aren’t you coming?”
“No I can’t. It’s is okay, I will be fine, just get somewhere safe!”
The sky lit up again and Ford told himself that the thunder wasn’t getting louder, he imagined that. Pacifica looked ready to bolt but despite her fear she wasn’t moving.
“Don’t be stupid! If we get killed, we won’t be able to help find Dipper! We need to go back!”
“I can’t go back! Not until I find Dipper!”
“What? What do you mean?!”
This time there was no warning as a bolt of lightning shot to one of the tallest tree, setting it on fire. Pacifica’s shriek was cancelled by the ear-splittingly loud clap of thunder. The tree that had been hit was now on fire and with a crack! and a groan, the tree fell towards the pair. Ford grabbed Pacifica and jumped out of the way of the burning tree crushed the spot where they were just standing.
“Sugar Honey Ice Tea! No, no, nononono, this can’t be happening. Not now. I have to find him.”
“Mr. Pines?”
Ford looked over at Pacifica and the reality hit him. The girl was drenched, and unlike him, she wore no thick coat to stop her shivering. Her expression was fearful and suddenly she seemed so young and like a knife twisting in his stomach he realized that she was only a child. Mabel was only a child. Dipper was a child and like an idiot Ford had… and like a dam that had hit its limits, Stanford Filbrick Pines broke.
His whole chest felt too small and a broken sob escaped him before he could stop it. Unable to breath or stop, Ford cried and sobbed. He had failed, he had caused this. All that pride, all of the ego had blinded him and now Dipper was dead because of him. He had wanted to do something right. He had wanted to bring Dipper back but now he was in the middle of the forest and he was going to get another child killed if he didn’t get himself under control but he couldn’t because it was all too much.
First Dipper, now I am going to get her killed, what the hell is wrong with me?
Fiddleford, Stanley, Mabel, Dipper, Pacifica, how many more people am I going to hurt
My fault, my fault, my fault, my fault
I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry
A gentle hand gripped his coat, and Ford look down to see that Pacifica was looking at him with a sad sympathy that a child should never be wearing.
“Come on, Mr. Pines. It’s okay, we can come back.”
Ford didn’t protest or question as Pacifica pulled him along. As they got further and further away, Ford got himself under control. He could breathe again, and the heavy sobs became hics and then they stopped. His eyes were hurting like the rest of him and he felt more tired than he had ever felt in a long time. He wanted to go to sleep and just never wake up. Eventually he realized that Pacifica had lead him to a cave that was just tall enough for him to stand in and deep enough that he could probably lie down in it without part of him sticking out. It wasn’t very warm, and the only light was Ford’s flashlight, but it was dry and it would protect them from the storm.
“How did you-?” he started to croak but god his throat hurt like the rest of him. Pacifica s sat down on one side so Ford took the other.
“When the demon triangle was still around, my parents were among the first to get turned to stone. So until Stan found me, I hid in caves like this a lot. Those eye bats were more interested in the town then the caves.” Pacifica explained. Ford nodded and once again a silence grew between them as they settled in the cave. There was a lots of wood in the front of the cave and with Ford’s laser gun, a small campfire was easy to create even if the wood was wet.
As time passed, Pacifica started to fall asleep until finally she laid down on the ground and dozed off. Even though it was damp, his coat was still warm so he covered the sleeping girl with it so that she would at least be warm. He watched her sleep for a moment before turning his attention back to the storm.
“Back when I was still trapped in the portal,” he began “I met a man named Rick who was the smartest man I ever knew. Dimension travel, time machines, creating life, you name it, he could do it. But he was also the loneliest and saddest person I had ever met, not that he would ever admit to it, his ego would never let him.”
The words were coming so easily now. Before he had always found this so hard to explain, but now it felt easier than breathing.
“He had a nephew, I think his name was Mort or Morty-something like that, and he would constantly drag the kid everywhere he went. He loved him but he was never kind to him, constant insulting Morty, bringing him down. I remember just watching the two, and thinking that no matter how smart Rick was. I never wanted to be like him, and I figured I would never be like him. His sadness was his excuse to ruin and kill everything he ever loved. Now I realize, I was always like him, I was just too blind to see it.”
Ford shivered but kept talking, the words were making him feel better “I let my ego blind me, and like Rick I let my pride be my excuse to ruin thing and never look back. I betrayed my brother. I let a good friend down, I almost got the world destroyed and even worse-,” Ford swallowed as the words felt too hard to say but he need them gone, “I dragged my own nephew into my problems and insecurities. It’s my fault that Dipper is missing or worse, dead. I just thought if I could just bring him home, then maybe I could look at my family and not feel ashamed of myself,” Ford let out another breath, “I don’t deserve them or their forgiveness.”
“Even if you did bring Dipper home, it wouldn’t be that easy.” Pacifica suddenly said making Ford jump, “Before I met Mabel and Dipper, I thought became of my name and my family’s wealth I was better than everyone else. It wasn’t until I was forced to really look at what I was doing and what my family was really like before I realized that I wanted- no, needed to make amends and start being a better person. But it takes more than one try. I am still trying, and it ain’t that easy.” Pacifica opened one of her eyes and looked at Ford, “But if there is one thing I know about the Pines, it’s that they really their family. I bet if you really make the effort, they won’t hesitate.”
Ford blinked and, not realizing it, he smiled just a bit. “What is the world coming to? Here I am, an adult, and I’m being given a life lesson from a child more than half my age.”
“I am turning thirteen in a month, I am not a child!”
Ford laughed, something he had not done in what felt like a very long time. Pacifica smiled as she closed her eyes and began to go back to sleep. Ford leaned back and watched as for real the young preteen fell asleep. His mind was calmer, sleep felt like a blanket being pulled over him and the fire was keeping him warm. In his mind, he hoped that Pacifica was right and that he could truly make amends.
Fiddleford, Mabel, Dipper and Stanley
Please if there is any God out there
Please let Dipper be alive
And Please let me be able to make things right
And just like that, Ford was asleep.
(It was in the morning that the two were awoken by both their phones ringing. Mabel was calling Pacifica saying that Dipper had returned, Stan was describing the situation to Ford with Mabel suddenly talking to air and there seemed to be something in the room. Maybe later, Ford would curse him but right now he was thanking God for the second chance)
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