whalebonerunes:

jade-suture:

whalebonerunes:

I ordered a blonde flat white from Starbucks while on my break and the barista must have been having a long day bc he goes “that would be my stripper name” and there was like five seconds of dead silence between us before he looked up realized he said that out loud

You tipped right

i put 20 bucks in his hand and told him to pocket all of it

sixth-light:

generallkenobi:

chancethereaper:

accioharo:

lesbianshepard:

A giant, black, sarcophagus has been found in Alexandria and I could not be more excited about it. 

image

If we do open it we could find

  • The tomb of Alexander the Great (Coolest possible answer. Probably the coolest thing we’ve found in my lifetime unless aliens decide to show up.)
  • Rando important Egyptian Pharaoh ( Also cool answer. Definitely an awesome find.)
  • An ancient and unspeakable evil (We haven’t had a good ol’ doomsday level curse in a good long while. Definitely overdue for this one)

It’s a win/win/win scenario. 

I’m Mike Drucker in this situation

This is so goth

THEY’RE GONNA OPEN IT

Reblogging this with a link so we all know it’s real 

please let it release a plague upon the trump administration