Hoo boy.

Hoooooooooooo boy.

How did you know there may have been some random vent fic stewing in me for awhile? Under a cut in case pregnancy stuff squicks you out

• I severely underestimated how Lorg you get with one baby, let alone three baby. Mabel would probably not be up and about very much that last month, because I’m having trouble moving and grooving at month 9 as it is and I’ve had a very smooth and uneventful pregnancy.
• I think I wrote a fic where she’s walking in the forest at 9 months? LOLLLLLL.
• I’m walking to work still at 9 months but it’s Definite Effort, and it only works because I’m walking downhill. I haven’t been able to comfortably do hills or stairs since 7 months.
• Another thing about carrying triplets; while they want you to go as long as possible (IE the full 40 weeks), Mabel would probably have had the kids around week 37, because at some point they become so big that there is REALLY LITERALLY no room for them.
• To wit: I’m week 37 right now. My baby is about 6.5 pounds… but then there’s the placenta, which is about 7 pounds. And all the amniotic fluid, which takes up another few pounds. Like all in all a single baby by 40 weeks, with accessories, is about 25-30 pounds of baby and stuff.
• now times that by 3
• yup I had Mabel go into birth naturally, she would have probably had a scheduled c-section; you can try and push multiples out manually (especially with twins) but often times they’ll just take you straight to c-section
• The other thing about Mabel’s water breaking? Yeah almost no one has their water break at home.
• it’s like 10% of people. No shit. The movies lied to you
• Your water usually breaks when you’re at the hospital. Often times because they break it for you. 
• I think I wrote that Mabel was starting to show at 5 months? Lol no she would have been showing earlier than that
• because she had fucking triplets
• seriously wtf was i thinking 
• FWIW I didn’t show until almost 6 months… but it also really depends on body type, size of baby, how your uterus sits in your body, etc
• Mabel sticks to herbal tea only because of The Caffeine but tbh some caffeine is fine
• I still drink coffee. Please don’t tell on me
• OH WHAT THEY DON’T TELL YOU ABOUT YOUR CAFFEINE FREE HERBAL TEA is how many herbs pregnant women should avoid
• i threw out all my tea in my first trimester, tried to replace it with herbal, and went back to drinking black tea in trimester two because so many herbs in caffeine free tea are not recommended for preggos. 
• What I was right about: babies, especially the bigger they get, will react to your touch
• mainly when said touch consists of you having to literally push them to another part of your stomach
• or, like my kid likes to do, stop kicking when anyone else but me feels her. Daddy loves that. 
• Other things I would have included
• that you basically have uncontrollable burping non-stop the 4th month on
• you really don’t eat like a trash panda the entire time. No, you’ll go through phases of eating like a normal human, and eating like a trash panda. 
• sleeping on ONLY your side, even if you’re a side sleeper, gets really old, really quick.
• also it gets hard to cuddle with your partner at some point, because you will be wrapped around the only thing that lets you comfortably sleep: a massive body pillow
• Mabel would probably start out making clothes for the kids because She’s Mabel, but would stop at some point because EVERYONE gets you clothes
• everyone
• e v e r y o n e
• same with blankets; she had barely started making one, before she got 25 in.
• Mark and Anna, however strained their relationship is, would probably come up to GF for a few weeks after the babies are born.
• first grandkids = the second coming of christ
• trust me