AN: Well, I hope you mods are happy.  I was planning to leave it at Completely Under Control, but now the stupid cinnamon bun kid and his totally-not-dad-but-yeah-his-dad have lodged themselves in my brain and are refusing to vacate the premises.  (Very politely in Toby’s case, but still.)  So, yeah.  This one was inspired by all the suggestions about Toby and Maddie, and it kept growing much longer than I had expected.  I hope you enjoy it.

(Also, I noticed someone else wrote a fic on the same topic, but at the time I had already written a lot of this and had decided to take a different track on Toby and Maddie’s first meeting.  The other fic is incredibly cute and adorable and I certainly hope we can coexist together despite the contradictions between us.)

—-

Alcor hadn’t been answering Toby’s summons.

It probably didn’t mean anything, he had thought at first.  Toby did summon Alcor fairly often – at least once a month, and mostly for mundane things that were really just excuses to spend time with him and keep him from getting lonely, now that Toby had moved out on his own and Alcor had dropped his human identity.  It could easily have been that the demon was just annoyed with him and trying to make a point, or just wanted some alone time.  Toby could respect that – while he sometimes had fun teasing Alcor a bit, he would never want to push him to the point of being legitimately upset.

Still, after four failed attempts over the past few weeks, Toby had been worried enough to call Jerry in Gravity Falls and ask if he knew anything.  He’d never been clear on Alcor’s relation to Jerry – a man Alcor had kept in touch with for some reason after a childhood summoning, maybe? – but Alcor had given him the man’s number years ago when he was still a kid, in case of emergency, and he had gleaned enough from their occasional interactions during his childhood to believe that Alcor might confide in him if something was wrong. 

He knew something was up when the older man had been a little too nonchalant over the phone.  When Toby had pressed, he had reluctantly admitted that he was pretty sure why Alcor was giving him the answering machine.  “I’m not sure if he’d want me to say anything, but he never said not to, so…”

Now, the following day, Toby was still moping around his tiny apartment, Jerry’s words and his own hurt and confused feelings swirling around endlessly in his head.  He hated the way he was feeling, but felt unable to do anything to stop it.

He’s taken in a new kid.  He’s not talking to me.  He’s got a new kid.  He’s raising her, actually admitting it to other people.  And didn’t bother to tell me, let me meet her.  Barely two years after I move out and he replaces me. After he said he was “tired of watching a kid and glad to be done with it.”  He doesn’t want to talk to me anymore because he has a new kid.  One he actually wanted.  Was I that bad?  He doesn’t want me anymore… doesn’t want me… doesn’t want me…

Jerry had tried to downplay it after telling Toby the news, correctly inferring the direction of his thoughts from his shocked speechlessness.  “I’m sure he was going to get around to telling you himself!  It’s just… hard, you know, taking care of a baby.  They’re very needy, especially at Maddie’s age.  He’s probably just overwhelmed.”

Yeah, but he couldn’t have spared a few minutes to literally pop over and give me a heads-up?

A part of Toby knew he was probably being extremely irrational.  Another part knew he didn’t have any right to be thinking like this even if he wasn’t.  Alcor didn’t owe him anything.  He’d done so much for Toby over the years, been a parent to him when he had needed it most; if he wanted to move on and pretend none of that had happened now that Toby could (more or less) take care of himself, well, he’d already done more than Toby could have ever hoped for.

Besides, he had absolutely no doubt that this new kid must have been in need.  No amount of jealousy (it had taken Toby quite a bit of uncomfortable introspection to apply that word to his feelings; it was an emotion he’d never really had to deal with before, and he felt like a terrible person for it) would make Toby deny an innocent child a home and parent.

Ultimately, he knew he should just put this out of his mind and get on with his life.  He could let Alcor decide when or if he wanted to talk.  He was an adult now, right?  …Sort of… in a way… well, he was twenty, so technically not a teenager anymore, at least.  (Even if he still got mistaken for one depressingly often – seriously, was he really that small?)

But yeah, Toby was totally an adult.  Living independently, and all that.  He should be able to handle his former guardian apparently not wanting to be as close anymore.

He really shouldn’t want so desperately for Alcor to pop in and hug him and assure him that he was still loved.

Toby sighed, trying and failing once again to motivate himself to get off his discount-store futon and do something to get his mind off of things.  It wasn’t like Alcor had ever openly used the l-word with him anyway, it was always just sort of an inferred thing…  He needed to stop this childish wishing for his father figure to spontaneously show up and fix everything.  He was mature enough now to know it wasn’t going to happen.

*poof*

“HeyTobyIneedafavorlikerightnowcomeonthanks.”

*poof*

With a disorienting lurch and a sound like the fabric of space being unzipped, Toby’s cheap, one-room apartment unit vanished around him and was replaced by a clean, homey-looking living room.  He almost fell to the floor as the futon disappeared from beneath him, only Alcor’s grip on his arm holding him up.  Toby allowed the demon to pull him up out of the awkward position, his head still spinning as he tried to get his bearings.

After a few seconds (he was no stranger to Alcor’s preferred method of transportation) Toby had recovered enough to get a good look at Alcor for the first time in over a month.  Toby was surprised to see him in his human form – he usually stayed in his normal shape when it was just the two of them alone.  More surprising, though, was how uncharacteristically stressed and harried he looked.  There were dark circles under his slightly bloodshot eyes (and he doesn’t even need to sleep!), and his hair was uncombed and mussed up like he had been running his hands through it in frustration.  His normally supernaturally clean and pressed clothes were untucked and rumpled, and Toby could swear he even spotted a few stains – stains! Alcor never tolerated stains! – spotting his black dress shirt.

Before he could do anything more than gape at how unlike himself Alcor looked, a shrill, gurgling, infantile cry suddenly pierced the air.  Toby’s attention was drawn to the room he now found himself in – specifically, to the rainbow-painted cradle in the corner, where the cries were issuing from.

Alcor coughed awkwardly.  “So, um, I guess Jerry told you…”  He gestured to the cradle.  “This is Madeline.  Maddie.”

Caught off guard enough by the sudden turn of events to forget that he was kind of upset about the whole situation, Toby tentatively approached the cradle, which had a mobile of glittering stars and galaxies hanging above it.  He peered inside, heedless of the wailing assaulting his ears, and found himself staring at a baby girl, only a few months old, wrapped in a rainbow-patterned blanket and screaming her tiny lungs out.

After a moment, she seemed to sense that someone was above her; the girl’s sobs quieted to little hiccups as she opened her eyes and gazed up at Toby.

Usually, whenever Toby got a sense of déjà vu regarding anything that might be related to his past life, his stomach would sink to his feet, accompanied by a strong urge to hide in a closet and curl up under a blanket.  (He envied people who had no knowledge of who they’d been and could just dismiss such feelings.)  Presently, as he looked into Maddie’s forest green eyes for the first time, he experienced that same kind of feeling, telling him he had met this person before… but instead of the standard fear and self-loathing he was used to when this happened, he felt his breath catch as a sudden warm surge of affection rushed through him.

This little baby… Maddie… how could he have ever felt jealous of her?  Even knowing her for all but a few seconds, he already felt that she was deeply important to him – part of his odd little family, that Toby would do anything to cherish and protect.

He smiled down at her.  She stared up at him with that wide-eyed “what the frig am I looking at” baby stare, and drooled a little onto her blanket.

Alcor cleared his throat pointedly, drawing Toby’s attention back to him.  “She was abandoned by her parents.  I found her about a month ago.  That’s why I haven’t dropped by, she’s kind of a handful.”  He muttered something under his breath that sounded something like it’s Lionel’s revenge from beyond the grave.

He came up beside Toby and absently reached out to lightly rock the cradle.  Toby glanced sidelong at him, frowning.  He wasn’t really all that upset anymore, but he couldn’t quite manage to keep a pout out of his voice as he responded, “You could have brought her over with you.  I could’ve helped if you needed it.”  And I still need you, he didn’t add.

Alcor avoided Toby’s eye, looking down at little Maddie as she seemed to settle down under his gentle rocking.

A thought suddenly occurred to Toby, and he grinned teasingly at the demon.  “So, was I even the first?  I always thought I was, but apparently you have a thing for just adopting kids off the street.  Is there a whole community of former Alcor-kids that I don’t know about?”

Alcor finally turned to look at him, his face morphing into the same I-am-absolutely-done glare that Toby had seen so often over the years.  Toby’s grin grew wider.  Maybe not as much has changed as I thought.

“I hardly make it a habit,” the demon scoffed.  “You and she are both special cases.  I was going to just leave her with a foster family, but I guess she imprinted on me or something, because she wouldn’t stop crying when I left her with Jerry, so now I’m stuck.”

It was the same kind of dodging and denial Toby had heard so many times in regards to himself, but there was something off about Alcor’s tone.  It seemed almost forced, like he was trying to give the impression of having gotten attached against his will and trying to deny it, to hide his true reasons for taking her in.

“Augh, we’re wasting time!”  Alcor growled suddenly, impatiently crossing his arms and fixing Toby with a serious gaze.  “I brought you here because I need you to babysit Maddie for a while.”

“Oh.”  That Toby had not been expecting when he’d started his day.  “Uh, sure, I can do that, no problem…”

“This isn’t because I trust you or anything,” Alcor insisted.  “But Jerry has a thing and I don’t know anyone else who’s not busy…  Oh, yeah, you’re not busy, right?” he added, like this had just now occurred to him as a possible snag.

Toby shook his head.  “No, I’m pretty free nowadays… I, uh, actually…”  He looked down ashamedly and muttered, “Ikindalostmyjobagain.”

A hint of concern flashed across Alcor’s face.  “Oh.  Sorry.  Do you need any h– I mean, whatever.  We’ve all got problems.

“At the moment, my problem is I have a cult trying to summon me.  I would ignore them, except it’s a powerful one and they’ve been at it for a while and I’m worried about what they’ll do to get my attention if I don’t answer, so I need to get to them before they go too far.  Th͞e̡y͘ ̛n͞e̴ver̵ l̶éar̕n̛.͢”  He scowled darkly, gold flashing briefly in his eyes.

He looked back at Toby, suddenly all business.  “So, here’s the deal: watch over Maddie, keep her safe.  In return, I’ll help you with finding a new job.”  He held out his hand, which erupted with blue fire.  “D͠ea͡l?͘”

Toby frowned, concerned and a little hurt.  Was he actually being serious about not trusting me? 

“I-I don’t need a deal to do you a favor –”

“I do.”  In an instant, the cold and detached façade fell away, and Toby got a rare glimpse of Alcor’s true emotions, raw and unguarded; his face screwed up in a conflicted mess of worry, anger, and regret, his voice strained to the breaking point and trembling in desperation.  “I’m sorry.  Please.”

Toby had never heard Alcor like this, unreservedly pleading with him, with anyone.  He was certain now that there was something more going on here than simply an unplanned attachment to a random child.  Alcor’s love and protectiveness for Maddie clearly extended far beyond that.

Not wanting to cause Alcor any more distress, Toby reached forward and gripped his outstretched hand, letting the flames spread to him.  “Okay.  Deal.”

The demon let out a relieved sigh as the flames flickered out, and gave Toby a look of gratitude before closing his eyes for a few seconds.  When he looked back up he had regained his composure, and began rattling off instructions in a quick, efficient tone.

“Good.  Now, if you hold her, remember to support her head.  I just fed her about a half hour ago, but there’s formula on the kitchen table just in case, be sure to warm it first, and there’s diapers and other supplies in her room down the hall.  I shouldn’t be long.”

With that, the demon unceremoniously blipped out of the room, leaving Toby alone with the baby.

In the sudden silence, Toby tried to take a moment to sort out his thoughts so that he could figure out how to approach things when Alcor returned.  The last ten minutes had left him with a lot to process: concern over Alcor’s obvious stress, whatever Maddie’s story was, his own still-not-quite-assuaged insecurities –

Then Maddie started wailing again, and all other concerns were wiped from Toby’s mind as he rushed to comfort her.

—-

“…So be sure to remember to call it ‘pain’, not ‘funny feelings’.  People will give you looks.”

It hadn’t taken as long as Toby had worried to calm Maddie down – picking her up and rocking her hadn’t worked initially, but she seemed to like the sound of his voice and her cries had quieted once he had started murmuring reassurances of her daddy’s swift return.  It hadn’t taken long before she had settled down completely as he kept talking; currently, she was staring at him in apparent rapt fascination as he took the opportunity to give her some pointers on growing up with a demon role-model.

“Also, the phrases ‘why you ackin’ so cray-cray,’ ‘am I being ker-pranked,’ and a few others you’ll probably hear are a couple centuries out of date.  Though with that you’ve got about a fifty-fifty chance of people thinking it’s cute instead of weird, at least while you’re still a kid.  Actually, it’s a good idea in general to double-check any of Da- of your dad’s slang before you use it, he doesn’t always keep up-to-date.  Oh, and be careful copying the references he drops; most people will just be confused when you quote things like the Fight Fighters movie or the original Monstermon anime.  And don’t touch anything related to the Twin Souls franchise with a thirty-foot grappling hook.”

Toby chuckled as Maddie suddenly interrupted him with an impressive yawn.  “Yeah, it’s been a tiring last half-hour, hasn’t it?” he agreed, walking back over to the cradle and gently setting her back down.

The baby’s eyes were already drooping as he set her head onto her pillow, and Toby found himself unable to stop grinning.  She was just so precious and adorable!  He reached down and stroked her short brown hair, whispering softly to her as she fell asleep.

“I still don’t know how we knew each other before, but I know you must have been very special.  And I know you’re going to be again.”  He straightened up, thinking he’d get a glass of water after talking so much; just a few more words to lull her the rest of the way to sleep.  “And I can tell Alcor already loves you, and you’re going to love him.  He can be distant sometimes, but trust me, he’s the–”

“Y̖͉O̷͏̺͔̩̫̻̝̞͍̘U͙̦͞ ͎̯̺̮͉̠̻Ḍ̵̸̼͜Á̸҉͎͎̭̩̠̫̮͕Ŕ̸͕͇͚͕͓E̸͉̪̮̜.̺̙́”

With no warning, a burst of electric blue energy exploded out of nowhere, throwing Toby violently through the air and smashing him into the wall.  As suddenly as he had appeared in Toby’s apartment, Alcor materialized in the living room, but there was nothing human about his form this time.  Pitch black save for eyes that glowed like molten gold and the glint of rows of shark-like teeth (which already seemed to be stained red), the Dreambender spread his wings to their fullest extent, unleashing a gust of wind that sent all the furniture, save for Maddie’s cradle, flying and crashing to the floor.

Slowly, the demon approached Toby, almost literally seething with otherworldly rage.  Power radiated off him in waves, holding Toby off his feet and against the wall, pushing against his chest hard enough to make him gasp for breath.

“Wa̴s͡ t͜h͏ís ̴your͞ p̴ĺa̡n ̡fr͝om̧ ͠t̸hé ͞b̵eg҉in̢n͏i̧ng͢,̧ ̧C͠i͢p̶her?́” he sneered, floating up to be at eye level with Toby.  “Ĺower̷ m͢y ̴g̴u͡a̢r͟d̀ i͢n͡ on̕e lif̢ę, ͠ţhén͘ g̡ét ̢me̕ ͏s͜o͟ aţtac̴h̀e̸d ́to ̴y̷ou ҉in th̨e n̶ex͟t͠ ̶on̵e̵ t͜hat́ I ̢woul̨d̕ tr͘ùst͝ you w͡i̵th̛ ͟w̡h͞a͢t ͢is͝ mơs͏t̀ p͜rȩçiouş t͡ò me? ̡ ͠Y̛ou k͜ne̶w,̨ ͏o̶h,̨ ͘y̨o̴u k͘n͟ew̷ y̕o̧u ̷c̵ouldn’͝t͢ ͟toúch ̨M̷ira o̡ǹ m͢y wat̢c͘h,́ ̡so you ͝u̴s͠e͜d ̢ţhàt͟ life̵ ͘tơ bu҉i͠ld͘ u̸p ͡a ͜r̀ap̛po̧rt,̴ a͢nd́ ͜t͘h͠en ̢m̢a̛de͟ s̛ure yo̶u͝r̢ ̛nèx͏t́ ļif҉e ͢waś s̡o̵ ̶utt͘er͝ĺy̢ P̛I͢T͞IF̀UL t̵hat i͟t͘ cou͘l̛dn’t p̵o̷s̵s̕ibl̕y ҉be a ́t̸h͢re̷a̕t͝ t͝o͡ m̢e͘!͢  ̕Lett̵ing y̧ou ge͘t ͜c̸l̀ose ͟enou̕g̵h̕ ̕t̴o͠ ҉ste̡a̷l her͟ awa͞y ̷o͜nc͘e s̷h͟è w̷a̛s͏ ̕ŗebo͠ŕn͠.̀  ͘Cl͘e͡ve̸r̡,̸ ͜an͘d̶ ͡I̷’l̷l͠ a͞dmit͠ I̵ was ̀foole͝d ͘fo͞r ̕a͢ w̸h̷i͘l̷e̷,͡ ̕b̸ut҉ ỳo͡u’ve c̨le͢a͝rly͠ ͡f̀or͏gotţeǹ: I͜ ̢tr͜u̕st͡ NO ́ON͠E̛.͜”

Toby could hear nothing but Alcor’s voice over the pounding of his heart and the static buzzing of demonic power suffusing the air.  The pressure on his chest was making it hard to breathe, and when he looked desperately into Alcor’s eyes, he saw no hint of the father figure he had known for over a decade.  This was something wild and dark, a predator playing with its helpless prey, and suddenly Toby was six years old again and couldn’t breathe, couldn’t breathe, and he was going to die, and he didn’t know why he couldn’t breathe and the panic was making him sick and the terrifying voice from his nightmares was whispering hahaha hilarious in his head…

Alcor suddenly leaned in until his serrated teeth were only inches from Toby’s face, and ran his fingers along Toby’s skinny chest, coming to rest just over his heart.

“Y̨o͏u̶ w̕i̷l͝l̵ nev͘e̕r háve͘ ̷he̕r̛.  S̸h͟e.̡ ̧ ̢Is. ͜ ̴M̵̠͈̣̜̠̻͜͟I͏̷̥͉͉͙̠͉̺̯̰͕̝̘͔͖̻͎̬̪Ņ̢̘̜̪̞̟̬͎̹̤̹͈̪̭͡Ḙ̮̖͔̗͟͞.̸̸̛̛͎͚̣̫̭̦̩͉̣̪̬͘”

His fingers slipped into Toby’s body like a ghost’s, and a horrifying chill spread from Toby’s heart through his entire body, and he knew that Alcor was about to do exactly what he had threatened to do all those years ago in that dark alley.  And just like back then, all Toby could think was…

“N͢o̡t͘hing ̧t͜o͠ say,́ B̕i͞l͡l͠?͘” the demon taunted, mouth smiling wider than any human mouth could have managed.

Toby gasped wordlessly for a few seconds, but finally managed to speak in a hoarse whisper.  “Just… if you really think that I could do something like that, that I could hurt someone, a-anyone… that Bill c-could take over…”

He was trembling, both with the physical effort of speaking and the knowledge that these would very likely be his last words, but he forced himself to meet Alcor’s burning eyes and continue, “…then do whatever you need to do to stop it.  I trust you to know what’s best.

“I trust you.”

Alcor’s grin disappeared.  He stared blankly at Toby, his expression unreadable.

Slowly, the glow in his eyes died down.  He pulled his hand out of Toby’s chest, and with it went the icy cold in his veins; Toby took a grateful breath that immediately turned into a coughing fit.

Alcor’s power ceased holding Toby to the wall, and he crumpled to the floor, his legs shaking too much to support him.  As the static in his ears faded away, Toby could hear Maddie’s distressed cries coming from her cradle again.

Toby quickly pulled his inhaler out of his sweater vest pocket, taking a few grateful puffs on it until he was no longer coughing every other breath.  At the same time, Alcor’s body was becoming less and less demon-ish – the darkness disintegrating off him in pixels, his eyes turning from gold to brown, his wings folding up and vanishing into his suit.

Once he had shed all signs of not being human (save, Toby saw with a twinge of nausea, for the clothing covered in fresh blood), Alcor walked over to Maddie’s cradle.  He reached out as if to touch her, but then pulled his hand back.  He turned to Toby, but didn’t meet his eye; when he spoke, his voice was thick with guilt and desperation.

“Please… help her.”

Shakily, Toby got to his feet, but hesitated to move toward Maddie.  He didn’t understand everything Alcor had said during his tirade, but one thing about the demon’s relationship to the baby was now perfectly clear.

“She’s Mizar, isn’t she?”  Alcor didn’t respond, instead setting the strewn-about furniture back into place with a casual wave of his hand before falling into an armchair, hiding his face in his hands.  “Are you sure it’s okay?”

Alcor nodded, still not looking up.  Toby quickly made his way over to the baby’s cradle, and began gently rocking it and whispering reassurances to her, but although her cries broke up a little upon hearing his voice, this time it didn’t seem to be enough, and her distressed wailing came back louder than ever.

Toby looked at Alcor helplessly.  “I think she wants you.”

At these words, a harsh, racking sob cut through Maddie’s cries, and Alcor finally removed his face from his hands.  Tears streamed uncontrollably down his face, which was twisted in unbearable misery.

“I can’t.”  His voice was shaky, despondent.  “I can’t, I’m not… I have no right to her.”

He choked on another outburst of sobs, before continuing in a voice so subdued that Toby strained to hear him over Maddie.  “What was I thinking?  I can’t do this.  I can’t be a parent.  Not to anyone, let alone her.  I have no right.  She deserves… so much more.  So much better.  I’ll scare her, I’ll screw her up, her life will be horrible.”

“That’s not true,” Toby interrupted, his own voice shaking in concern.  “Okay, so you lost control for a bit, but nothing bad happened, you came back to yourself -”

“And what if I don’t come back fast enough next time?!” Alcor countered.  “I’ll hurt people around her.  Some innocent kid will push her down on the playground or she’ll have a stupid fight with a friend and I’ll tear them apart and curse their families.  It was hard enough to avoid that with you, and I wasn’t worried about you finding out what I was.  Even if I don’t hurt her myself I’ll never be able to keep her safe from me and my world.”

He looked down at his blood-spattered shirt, his face twisting in disgust.  “They had two little girls.  They killed one before I could stop them, then offered me the other, as payment for… whatever they wanted, I wasn’t listening by that point.  I just teleported her away and… and when I was done with them, all I could see was Mizar, in danger like that girl, and I didn’t see you, just who you were, and I…”

His voice broke.  Around him, the room was reacting to his emotional state: the walls began oozing purple slime, while nightmarish visages appeared on the furniture.  “I’m a monster.  I should have had an entry in the journal.  ‘DANGER, DO NOT SUMMON, DO NOT APPROACH, KEEP FAR, FAR AWAY FROM EVERYONE EVERYWHERE.’”

“Alcor, you’re not-” Toby tried to interject, but Alcor kept talking over him.

“I’ve killed so many people.  They didn’t all deserve it.  You ever hear about the great California tsunami of the twenty-first century?  That was me.  And there’re so many others.  She’ll have a murderer for a parent, how can I do that to her?”  He started sobbing again, looking anywhere but at Toby and Maddie.

Alcor had never been like this in front of Toby before, completely and utterly breaking down.  Years ago, Toby’s immediate reaction would have been to blame himself and apologize.  And he did still blame himself – it was his past life that had put Alcor in this position, to have to constantly fight to maintain his humanity, and occasionally fail with terrible consequences.  But was old enough now to know that apologizing for things he couldn’t fix, however sincere he was, wasn’t going to help in this case.

Instead, he left Maddie’s side – though his heart wrenched at her continuing cries – and stood by Alcor’s chair, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“I can’t… I can’t give you absolution for any of that… but, speaking as a kid you’ve successfully raised, I think you’re selling yourself short in the parenting department.” 

Alcor opened his mouth to interrupt, but Toby pressed on.  “Just hear me out!  Now obviously, you only took me in for pragmatic reasons, no one’s arguing that you like me or anything.  But even with just that as your motivation, you got me through the hardest times of childhood, to the point where I could survive on my own, all without traumatizing or hurting me or people around me!”

Toby managed a shaky smile.  “All that, just as a ‘legal guardian’, to someone you had every reason to dislike.  Imagine how well you’ll do as an actual ‘father’, with a child you already care about!  I mean, sure, you had some slip-ups, but you learned from them.  You should be able to do even better this time around with what you learned taking care of me.”  He shrugged.  “Just think of me as your ‘practice kid’.”

Alcor’s sobs quieted, but tears still fell down his face as he stared at the wall, his eyes filled with unfathomable pain that Toby would give anything to heal.  Slowly, the slime on the wall vanished, and the tortured faces on the furniture disappeared.  Finally, Alcor met Toby’s eye.

“I… I suppose you did turn out decently…”

And then Alcor stood up and pulled Toby into a tight embrace, words apparently failing him as he started weeping uncontrollably onto Toby’s shoulder.  

Toby had been hugged by Alcor before, but never like this.  In the past it had always been because Toby needed it, had had a nightmare or been attacked by a monster or had a bad day at school.  Alcor had never needed Toby’s comfort before, or at least had never let him know it, but now he clung to Toby desperately; and Toby held him and rubbed his back as Alcor had so often done for him, trying in that moment to repay every single hug he had ever been given over the years.

Slowly, Alcor’s crying turned to quiet sniffles, and his body relaxed in Toby’s embrace.  A sharp shriek from Maddie, however, brought both of them back to the present; Alcor let go of Toby and hurried over to the cradle.  He pulled a clean cloth from his pocket, and held it against himself as he lifted Maddie up, keeping her from touching his bloody clothes.  Toby, heedless of the blood that had transferred to his own clothes, sat down in a chair and wiped tears out of his own eye as he watched Alcor gently rock and shush the baby.

“Shh, shh, shh, it’s all right, Daddy’s here, I’m here, I’m so sorry Maddie, that won’t happen again, I won’t let it.  I’m sorry, please don’t cry, shh…  Did you have a good time with Toby?  Huh?  Did you have fun?  He’s really nice, isn’t he?  I knew he would be a good babysitter, he’s a very trustworthy person.”

As Maddie finally started to calm down at the sound of Alcor’s voice, Toby’s heart swelled at his words.

“You… you know you’re my favorite person in the world, right?”

Alcor paused in his rocking for a moment, shooting Toby an indecipherable look.  “Don’t say that.”  Any other time, Toby was sure, he would have been annoyed, but right now his voice was shaky and tired.  “You don’t… get to say that.”

“But it’s the truth.  You were the first person I can remember clearly who was ever kind to me.  You gave me everything I have despite everything I took from you.  You saved my life.  I would have died in an alley, alone, without you.”

Toby’s throat was choked up and tears were welling up in his eye again, but he ignored them.  “I love you.  I would do anything for you.  You know that, right?”

Maddie had finally stopped crying, and Alcor stared down at her like she contained the answers to all the secrets of the universe.  “You should never make that offer to a demon,” he whispered somberly.

“I’m not making it to a demon.”

There were a lot of emotions bundled up in the look Alcor gave him then – shock, uncertainty, affection, gratitude… but when he caught the hint of frustration and done-ness, the look that meant Alcor’s thoughts had turned along the lines of oh-my-effing-GOD-this-kid-I-don’t-even, Toby smiled, knowing that he was getting back to his normal self, and was going to be okay.

He stood up as Alcor laid Maddie back in her cradle, leaning over and kissing the top of her head.

“So, are you really not gonna tell her?” Toby asked, certain that Alcor wouldn’t want to stay on emotional topics now that he was getting to a better place.  “I mean, I don’t want to tell you how to raise a kid, but I don’t think it would hurt her if she knew.  And besides, do you think you can play a human 24/7?  You never used to bother when it was just you and me.”

Alcor waved his hand carelessly.  “I can pull it off.  I had to interact with plenty of other people while I was taking care of you, I’ll be fine.”

“I kinda remember at my tenth birthday when –”

“I’ve learned from that.  Like you said, you were the practice kid.”

“And you’ll have to make sure there’s no yggdrasil in the house, to be safe.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Toby grinned at Alcor’s deadpan glare.  The demon shook his head, grumbling under his breath, then looked down at his still-bloody clothes with distaste.

“I’m going to go change.  If you want, you can use the bathroom when I’m done, I can shrink some of my clothes for you.”  (Toby supposed not magicking away the blood was part of his effort to act like a normal human, but he didn’t bring it up.)

“After that, would you… like to stay for dinner?  I’m only offering because I’m trying to get back in the habit,” he quickly rationalized.  “And we can talk about getting you a new job – or do you want your old one back?  I can get whoever kicked you out fired -”

“No no, it’s fine, it was no one’s fault, just budget issues!  Nonprofit organizations, you know.  And it’s really not a big deal, I’m still doing all my volunteer work and my stuff for church and -”

“Yeah, you’re getting a paying job.  I’m not having you forced to move back in with me.”  His expression softened a bit.  “But, uh, if you wanted to… um, you know, babysit again, on occasion?  That would be… helpful.  Maddie seems to like you better than Jerry, at least.”

Toby beamed at him.  “Yeah, I’d be happy to!  Whenever you need.”  He still trusts me.  He trusts me with Mizar.

“Well, good.”

Alcor stood awkwardly for a moment, looking like he was struggling with himself.  He opened his mouth, closed it, grit his teeth, then finally said, “Thank you.  For… you know.  And… just… you…”

He seemed to lose his words, gesticulating jerkily as he tried to articulate whatever he was trying to say.  Finally, he seemed to give up and just walked over to Toby and leaned over, planting a light kiss on his head just as he had to Maddie a moment before.

Toby’s heart felt like it was soaring.  He tried to talk but his throat was too choked up.  Alcor didn’t make eye contact, just straightened up, absently ruffled Toby’s hair, then headed for the hallway.

“Watch Maddie for a little bit more?” he asked as he left the living room.

“Of course,” Toby replied, his voice hoarse with emotion.  He knew this was a moment that was going to be determinedly Never Mentioned Again, but that Toby would silently cherish for the rest of his life.

Clearing his throat, he walked back to the cradle, and looked down at the girl now slumbering peacefully like all the terror and distress of the past ten minutes had never happened.  Well, Toby thought, she probably feels safe now that Alcor’s back home.  I know the feeling.  He smiled as he reached down to wipe the tear tracks from her face, and remembered what he had been talking to her about earlier.

“Yeah.  Like I was saying, you’re going to love Alcor – he’s the absolute best dad in the world.”